so judgemental
the light,
confused with rain
absolved of sin
torments me
With reasoning
through softened temples
the colors collected underfoot
white noise
white skin
white cold hands
upon mine
white jackets
and white cells
where my body sleeps
white as hell.
A contest entry
- white by Cat.
2200 points, ended December 9, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I adore this piece.
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Intense, the frozen words
turn life to ice white with death.
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Very nice poem. It creates a very stark image. For some reason, as I read it, I imagine an insane asylum with the padded walls and straitjackets, the clinical white hallways and nurses in their uniforms and nurse's caps.
Anyways, nice poem -
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Thankyou. As considering I have been in a mental hospital...these words reflect bits and pieces of how it felt, and made me who I am today.
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Chilly and refreshing.
Haha! I like the dark poem focused on bright colors. It reads so cold and lifeless, but in the best possible sense that can be twisted into. The description of a partly-cloudy shower running down in scale to white blood cells brings a staggering chill for the last two lines. I feel as though I've read some ode to a victim of something, but a chilling eulogy twisted and macabre, maybe written by the aggressor. Very good work. Four stars.
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Thankyou.
I appreciate the comments.
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Thank you for this entry in our contest!
my favorite part was 'reasoning through softened temples'
many many images white here
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Wow..this is really amazing in a twisted way. I love the last two lines. Xds-gX
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