Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

poured out

 

Facial gutters
announce their downpour,
with rivers of badly applied mascara
and names that diary entries
won't ever see again.

Porcelain heart
is at a stand-still.


Either collapse in the chaos
of other's vices
 or find victory in knowing

they don't own you.

 

 

Author notes

Options 2:Word prompt - 5. Tear(s)

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Pure Thought silver member
    January 5
    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on your silver.


  • paulcreates silver member
    January 5
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully concise. Beautiful!

    Paul

  • Beautiful Irony
    December 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I agree with Meroza, "outside the box thinking with a touch of originality." It's a great poem.

    The whole thing's great, so it's hard to pick out a favourite line, but "with rivers of badly applied mascara" does stand out, brilliantly emotive and descriptive. The whole thing does bring up a picture in the mind. It's a great short poem.

    Good luck in the contest.

    Sarah


  • Meroza
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is what I call outside the box thinking with a touch of originality. I like this one and the details on this short poem gave it such a feel to it all. I love the idea you are working here.

    Thank you for entering and best of luck


  • kylierenea
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    good poem

    This is amazing! I love your word choice, it really sets the tone for the poem.

    and names that diary entries
    won't ever see again.

    These lines really stuck out to me. Great job, good luck in the contest.


  • penman gold member
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Such amazing choice of words. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • stasis
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely beautiful.
    I love it.

    ♣ Tegan


  • luna-midnight gold member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwww wonderful entry, love your take on tears, so nicely penned and good luck. take care
    Stephanie ♥


  • jul
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Either collapse in the chaos
    of other's vices
    or find victory in knowing
    they don't own you.


    Very encouraging, you either win accept defeat....
    Nice Job, as always.....

1 - 11 of 11