fingers raped the broken stone
choked all life out of
a grave -
where you thrashed against
a closed coffin; rock solid
showed no sympathy
or signs of escape.
each bang left me more lonely
and you c l a u s t r o p h o b i c
pressed between sour
legs;
it was cold there, you said
and I just
lowered the temperature.
buried stenches delight me:
if you're a rotting corpse,
then I'll be an
earthworm.
~~~
In a list
A contest entry
- quadrilateral I was, now I'm warped like a smile - - another one for my favorites by stasis.
1900 points, ended January 28, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites & I don't want crap by Ryno.
400 points, ended January 5, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter all your poems. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended February 20, 281 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
if you won't ask, I won't tell.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Fuck me how raw. I can relate to this in a sense, as a metaphor. I want to be hemated for this main purpose. I fear my ex would rape my dead body. It's the kind of thing he would do.
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This was kinda of twisted, and then sensual in a weird way. The metaphor and the actual theme itself contradict each other. Weird as heck, but super super cool.
What more do I say? I see no need for edits anywhere, and I have no suggestion to better it? I really loved the way you portrayed this. A great metaphor.
Thanks for the entry. -
whooa...this is excellent poetry!
i wouldn't call it disgusting more than
i would call it disturbing...ahh, but
what dead relationship isn't ?
I
wish you all the best in the contest.
Love, Lane
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I'm sorry for the delayed response, but thank you so much for your comment!
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love this one. the metaphorical imagery for dead relationships and the inablity to let go, or hang for mere carnal sake is disturbingly grand.
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Disgusting, yes... But Jesus H. Christ, it was amazing too! Just like you
Good luck in the contest, and I'll be back to read some of your less-disgusting stuff
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I'm scared.
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that third stanza is amazing.
as is the rest of the poem (:
wow!
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thank you
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wow this is extremely well written. vivid dark imagery and an excellent ending that pulls it together smoothly. well done!
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Dark and morbid and the thought of you as an earthworm!!! Ewwww just makes my skin crawl
C
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Thank you
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"where you thrashed against
a closed coffin; rock solid
showed no sympathy
or signs of escape." - Love this stanza.
This piece is so vulgar, so haunting.
So powerful. Wonderful write. -
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Thank you for your comment.
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Lol, both backgrounds are/were super spiffy.
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Lol, both backgrounds are/were super spiffy.
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Oh my gods...
This is effing incredible, I love it.
Thank you so much for entering.
Good luck!
♣ Tegan -
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psh, you commented right before I edited the background.
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Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
