It's not eleven thirty but my family's asleep.
They trek the lands of slumber while I haunt this dreary keep.
The shadows are my haven and the silence is a bliss.
The days may hold their spite but they can not deny me this!
Alas the dark serves mainly as a lighter prelude for
A darker day and with this "day" will follow many more.
My words are lost on stopped up ears, my actions on the blind
So all I do, however good, is not returned in kind.
Ironic! For when I was young invisibility
Was something that I wished I had. Now the ability
Comes when I want it least of all. My fate can't be denied;
I'm doomed to walk these halls a ghost - a ghost before I've died...
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I LOVE this!! (and your picture is very nice, dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes, a rare and beautiful combination)
The rhyme is sooo beautiful and it flows so PERFECTLY!!
PLEASE write more like this!! I ORDER you!!
-
That's really good. I think you could turn that into one of those long poetic stories. It's a good intro for one. I love when I'm awake and my family's asleep.
-
Outstanding
I liked the unexpected ending here and the way you developed the theme of this poem. I think we all feel like this sometimes as if everything we do goes unnotticed however hard we try. A great poem that has been well thought through.
-
good write. good words and process.
-
Very nicely done! The age old warning: don't go wishin' for something, or you just might get it! and this has happened to many of us. a fine penning...
-
Haunting
Beatiful, in it's own deep and thoughtful way. Seems so very lonely... I understand what comfort there is in the wee hours when all are asleep and the lights are dim; yet being alone can be a pain as well. I wish for you the sweetest moments of solitary comfort and the strengthening blessings of true companionship. Blessings and love, my friend.
S
-
You're definitely not the only one to feel that way ...it's strange during those quiet, lonely hours when it feels like there isn't a single soul alive and conscious, except you.
Wander this way the next time you're lost in those thoughts. Maybe you'll bump into me. -
Wow!
This poem is very deep (obviously
) and there are quite a few meaning that I take out of it, which is something that I love about good poetry
I love the closing phrase " - a ghost before I've died... -
Wow.
In His Love,
Zach
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
