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Not Now

He brought gifts
insights
inheritances
(imperfectly packaged)
You said "Goodbye"

Author notes

10 words only



prompt ~ The Visitor

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    *lmao* This is great! Personally, I don't like the 10 word challenges... 35 words is hardly enough for a first verse. Here, however, you've cleverly divided the story into three parts. Part one essentially describes a sugar daddy. Part two, in parenthesis, shows sugar-daddy's shortcomings. Part three, the last line explains how he paid for his lack of packaging skills! 10 words with a beginning, middle and end! I'd say "Brilliant!" -- too bad the judge didn't concur!


    • 2lullabyhaven
      January 19
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Jim, You're The Best

      lol hahaha I have so much fun with these limited wordage thingys hahaha I don't have to expand my mind, so as to preserve some for old age hahahaha

  • goalsv
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very good.


  • Lavender Butterfly silver member
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well penned... x