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i dont care

caress my skin

cut open my corset i wont feel a thing

throw me to the floor like you don't care anymore

slit your wrists i can still feel it sting

kiss me like you once did

it means nothing to me

it dosn't hurt

my soul dosn't rip to peaces when you leave me here

tears don't silently fall down my cheek as i weep

i want you to know how much

 

i don't care

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Daire
    December 12, 2008

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    Two little things to get out of the way first: it may just be your style but the 'doesn't's in lines 7 & 8 don't have 'e's and 'peaces' in 8 should be 'pieces'. Small and pointless I know; they definitely don't take away from the poem. Did you ever see the movie 'Say Anything'? It's a teen John Cusack flick from '89 - ancient to you I know. But there's a girl in it who writes hate songs about her ex who she's obsessed with. It's pretty funny and you remind me of her here with your humour and knowingness in your notes. I love the sentiment and honesty of this poem. It's smart too. Saying 'I don't care' is usually a sure sign that we do. If he inspires this, then something good came out of the relationship.:-)


    • Horcrux.Breathing
      December 13, 2008
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      no lol its not my style i just make spelling mistakes because i am dyslexic x


      • Daire
        December 13, 2008
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        Well it doesn't take away from your poetry. Fair play.


  • Rhapsody
    December 10, 2008
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    I like it. Did good on your opening. Good luck.


  • peregrin
    December 5, 2008

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    I like the corset thing, because it is creative and like a blast of the past. Aside from I know no one who wears won aside from me...
    anyways, pretty good.
    I like the flow..

    Gwen

  • Sky Prince Ireland gold member
    December 4, 2008

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    Wow! Rather sad but still written well.
    You certainly put your guts into this poem;
    be proud of yourself for that. Thanks for sharing and entering my contest. Good luck to you.
    Brian

  • Eusebius
    December 3, 2008

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    A harsh and poignant piece of poetry, nicely done! I only hope that not a single word of it is true!!! again, nice write!!


  • BrokenSanity
    December 2, 2008

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    Sam did some cruel things to you. let him go, Emily. He's not worth it. God, for a moment i thought u were writing about CHARLIE when you mentioned a corset. ooooh dear. well written though. keep it up.


  • Travel Notes
    December 2, 2008

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    lies. you do care. and it hurts to see how deeply you care when you say you don't. denial will only last you so long. the sooner you face the truth openly, the quicker you'll get over it.

    • Horcrux.Breathing
      December 2, 2008
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      spot on i am so glad that you understood the powerfull meaning in this peom! its what i was going for hooray! wonderfull advice too exactally the reply i was looking for


  • poetrandy
    December 2, 2008

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    WOW! Really Dark!

    He must have hurt you very badly! Don't take it so seriously, if this is a true poem! It's well written and worded! It's a bit choppy, but vivid in it's bloody imagery! I think you express yourself well -- but let's get happy, OK? Good work!

    • Horcrux.Breathing
      December 2, 2008
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      yes he did. i write alot of peoms about him most my poems on my profile are about this same topic. i only write poems to express my feelings and at this point in life its all very dark and alot of the time. i hope somtime soon my poems will get a happier message to them.
      how do you mean choppy?

  • Horcrux.Breathing
    November 30, 2008
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    ohh i quet like it i hope you all got it and that all the last lines are complete lies other wise you would be very dim.. i quiet like how powerfull i made it.


  • XxAngelOfPoisonxX
    November 30, 2008

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    Holy crap...and you got this from Mrs Gant?
    I like this, its really good. Great write


    • Horcrux.Breathing
      November 30, 2008
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      do u like how you can tell that i dont mean most of this poem and how i really do care lol

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