now makes me cry.
As I think of the time,
we had to say goodbye.
Laying in that bed,
I didn't want him to go.
Then as he passed,
my mother's grief did show.
His old face,
I would love to see again.
But I will not for now,
I'm not prepared, to enter his den.
The hospital smell.
The day he went away.
I remember it well.
But here I must stay.
Author notes
I used Option 3 # 7 for this one, Title Prompt: His Old Face. This is about the day my father passed away. He died young and my family stood and watched as his heartbeat faded and passed. I then had to watch as my mothers face changed from fear to complete greif. I didn't really want to write another poem on this topic. But Meroza wanted another entry from me, and it was the only inspiration I had left. I hope you do like it. I am open to commments, but do not intend on changing this one in any way.
A contest entry
- Huge points, huge options (Now with a free membership!) by Meroza.
16000 points, ended January 5, 115 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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wow, that's so sad, and so beautiful. It takes a lot of strength to write about this, I'm sure.
Amazing job -
You are strong for writing this and the emotions in your poem is even stronger. Loosing a loved one is hard, and still not even me has come over the shock after all these months and the tears still run, if not so often, they still flow down my chin.
I admire you the ability to see that you can't leave this world just yet to rejoin with the lost one, hold on to that since there isn't many who sees that.
Thank you for entering and best of luck

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Perfect
I'm glad you've no intention of changing this one, as I think it's perfect as it is. I'm sorry you had to go through somehing so traumatic. Just to be slightly pedantic: line 8, should be "mother's".
I warned you I was a terrible pedant!
But, seriously, I think this is a wonderful poem and you convey your feelings perfectly. I always love the endings of poems, the summing up of everything that came before, and this is perfect, really just perfect.
I love it, though I doubt my feelings on this make any difference to your own.
Wonderful, just wonderful.

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Thank You. I like the fact that you are pedant... I fixed it.
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