Like I would ever want to run away with you
you would get tired of me, like you always do,
I will find myself all alone with no arm to clutch in fear
I will cry for you, you will not listen but you will hear
You claim you are in love with me, but it'll be just like before
back in forth you'll go between us, for you don't know who you love more
I cannot get over how you had broken my heart
and long after I had forgotten you, you came back for a brand new start
I just fixed everything, I'd even fallen in love with someone new,
yet when I open my door to see who's there, there is you
I want to scream "Go away!" but I cannot
for in my mind there is a second alternative thought
I hop into your arms wishing you'll never let me go
yet I know you will see her again, and so you will throw
me away as if I were nothing but trash to be dropped in the can
I realize you are not worth loving, you are just a jerky, selfish young man
So to run away with you, at first I almost said yes,
but now that I think about it, how can you even suggest
Go back to your other lady friend and leave me alone
you are more obsessed with females than dogs are in love with bones.
Author notes
grrrrrrrrr he drives me crazy!!!!! =[
-confuzzled-angel
- The Commenting Community group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Poems That Begin With The Letter 'L'. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended December 15, 2008, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your thoughts and feelings... by invisible2u.
600 points, ended February 6, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me wut ya think! =]
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
WOOT!
*finger snaps in the air*
Tell him!
I can tell you wrote this as an expression of something very real that you were feeling, and as such, I tend not to concern myself with the melodic flow as much. This was very good, and again I am struck by your age, and how astute your feelings are! My favorite line, by far... "you are more obsessed with females than dogs are in love with bones."
Keep your chin up sweetie, and keep standing up for yourself!
\o/
-
-Commenting Community
Nice. This is a nice change in ways of saying "no" to someone, and I like how you worded it. I totally agree with Frodofan; you're very confident in saying it, and it adds power to your words. I like the title, because it seems like there could be so many poems saying "I will", and I appreciated the opposition. Overall, I think you did a good job. I did think the rhyming could be a little stronger, though.
Thanks for sharing with the group!
-
From The Commenting Community...
I really like the power you have and the confident "no" in this poem.
The rhythm could be better and I think your last line could be better too. It seems a bit forced as a rhyme. Dogs in love with bones? This isn't the strongest comparison. I think you chose it just because you needed a rhyme. I'd rethink that last line. You should end with more of a punch.
This is a good poem though. I had something similiar happen to me, so I can relate. If they love you so much, then why did they leave the first time? Hm... guess we'll never really know.
Keep writing.
-
It seems your trying to talk yourself into a decision you have already made. But deep down you know you want to be with him. Very well done.
-
!!
This was great, and your rhyming scheme fit the words so well. The development is also wonderful. At the beginning, you start out as seemingly helplessly in love, but in the end it's you that rejects him.
Power to ya!
-
-
thanks ya! =)
-
-
great last line.
i wouldn't understand because i don't understand. lol... but u really like that dude. i think that the last stanza rhymed best. 
-WhiteAngelCake
-
-
thank ya bffl! =)
-
-
Waaow!! Love the poem!
Sometimes I also feel like that, just a lil different!
anyway, keep it up =)
-
-
thank you for readin and commentin! =) =) =)
huggggs
-
-
that last line... is gold,silver,bronze plus a couple of diamonds
(:
-
-
hee hee thanks bffl! =)
hugs
-
-
Great ending!
This one shows a lightness and a bit of humor. I like the way you can discuss your love life a from a distance! It seems you somehow know when love is going somewhere or not! Is this female intuition or? Good work!
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
