In My Memory

I never thought they’d end.
I never took pictures.
The moments.
The little things.
That mean so much today.
When you put me on a cupboard.
And kissed me.
When I went off to sleep, cuddled into you
Watching citizen kane.
When you stretched your am around me for the first time.
When we walked under a single umbrella.
In cold rain.
When I fought with you
Knowing that its okay
There is always a tomorrow

When I held you tight and sobbed into your arms.
And now there is no one to hold
With my heart breaking
Shattering, rending,
When we went to pick up my little puppy.
When I saw you after months at the airport.
When we snuck out for ice cream in the middle of the night.
When I used to watch your car drive away.
Waiting for the next time you’ll come back.
When I’d be jealous of people who share your time.

Three years we spent. Three years incomplete
And always complete.
I miss all the little things.
Arguing with you about politics, and life
And the way things are.
Your stubborn ego
Your not funny jokes,
Your laughter, when I strut tummy full after a heavy dinner.

I don’t know if I have tears enough.
The difficulty I have convincing you to meet my friends.
The times when we’ve danced together, slowly, softly, madly, fast.
Your fright of dogs, when they bark and you run
Like a little child to hide behind me.
Your temper, scary as it is slow.
Sharing an omlette, feeding you off my fork.
Kissing you.

Those moments.
They might live. They might.
Only in my memory.