drunk
on the sofa
i begged you
to squeeze
the wine out of me
"now
it won’t hurt."
the next day
on our bed
i tried and tried
to tame
the grape-child in me
to no avail -
you claimed to see
past the reluctance
and held me
till my face dried.
months after,
you complain
that i never
wanted you.
Author notes
Nov. 30, 2008
AN for the Unpredictable contest:
Please reword at least one of these rights in your Author's Notes, and then copy and paste the whole contract and state your username in the blank space:
The judges of this contest are entitled to change, twist, and do anything they please with this contest, particularly if doing so feels entertaining to them.
Contract:
"WARNING. This contest is completely unexpected. By entering, you are agreeing to the following terms of us:
- We have the right to make you write in any form/style/type of poetry there is on this planet. We will literally murder ourselves sometimes by trying to find even at least one bizarre form. But, then again, you may have easy things too. Or maybe not. You never know.
- We have the right to make you vote for other contestant. You may have to vote other contestants out, or vote to give contestants immunity, or even vote them president, or never vote for them at all. Again, you never know. We don't know either.
- We have the right to eliminate as many people as we want. We may not eliminate anyone until like the second last round. Or we may eliminate almost everyone in the first round and have the contest super short. Again, you never know!
- We have the right to make you write on any genre. Monkeys from another planet, hope, hatred, beauitful underwear. Please don't enter if you are easily offended, as you may have to write on some touchy or controversial topics. Or, you may not. You just can't tell!
- We have the right to disqualify you if we are not pleased by your behaviour, or actions, or something with your poetry (though, most likely not the last one). Though, this is unplanned, you still need to be respectful.
- We have the right to be completely honest with your work. Whatever we say is only said to help you improve as a poet.
- We have the right to run this contest any way we want to. Because thats the way it goes.
- We have the right to throw any twists into this contest as we want to, especially if is for our own amusement.
- Mostly, we have the right to make you grow as a poet, and enjoy yourself."
I, Diana aka kibo no hikari, agree that I have read these terms of use and will hereby abide by the law.
A contest entry
- UNPLANNED: as unexpected as you [preliminary round] by Never Fall in Love.
400 points, ended December 22, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
haha i dont know if youre talkin bout booze the way i think you are, but man do i know what it feels like to beg someone to 'squeeze the wine out' and be left with someone blaming what you barely remember. hooray alcoholism
-
-
hehe, thank you
-
-
I love the word choice in this and though the colour choice for background makes the words look like they were almost cut out of it, the red is very bright however and not easy on the eyes but the poem itself was brilliant.
Laura
-
! The conflict in this is astounding. I am left wondering if this menas what I think it means.
-
-
Thank you!
I don't know what you think it means.
But I'm flattered.
-
-
Honestly- gosh, this really got to me. I loved everything about it. The realness, metaphors, emotion. I can relate to this a lot write now. Wonderful piece
Jeanette*~
-
Thank you for your wonderfully penned entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
-
An excellent piece of contemporary poetry which well deserves all the favourable comments you've received.
Best of luck,
Bill
-
Your opening image is extremely visual, really sharp and witty.
The only thing is that I wish there was a bit more of the sharpness and wit in that final stanza.
But it is still well written
-
yes.
I will, however, murder you if you give me another background like this.
You're in, congrats x.
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/UNPLANNED%20as%20unexpected%20as%20you
-
Yes
Very creative; and very smart.
Please wait for the other judges comment. -
"the grape-child in me" - simply loved that! This is more literal than most of your other poetry but still with that very authentic voice of yours. Your poetry is always personal yet it always carries a universal ring about it too. Now you have me thinking that all lovers are "grape children"!!
~ Nicolette
-
-
Thank you!
Hehe, most lovers aren't grape-children at all... I'm self-conscious about it
BUT I'm glad it inspires me to write phrases great poets like yourself would enjoy
-
-
How the hell does anybody call you abstract?
LoL.
I think your wine metaphor was very cohesive and continuous and it was done brilliantly; I especially loved "grape child".
In fact...
I would say most of this is literal with only a little metaphor; I love it that way
.
"you claimed to see
past the reluctance"
So insightful; the way you talk about people (or rather, one person) is just so...good.
Last stanza = perfection
;
Jessica
-
-
"literal with only a little metaphor" - that's exactly how I meant it!
But this is one of my most literal stuff.
Thank you
You know, you're awesome
-
-
Yeah, it is more literal than your other poems
You're welcome
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
