Heavy-eyed,
the tears are streaming.
knowing you died,
has me screaming.
The ring upon my finger,
reminds me of our love.
My comfort is knowing you still linger,
in the miracle that's been given from above.
Three more months and I shall see your face again.
A new born babe with ocean like eyes,
carrying his fathers name, ben.
You'll never meet the child we made together.
Years it took for us to conceive,
we promised we'd be here forever.
You left without warning,
awaking to a phone call;
two months I've been mourning.
I miss you more than ever now.
As the baby kicks and I grow,
getting along without you, I dont know how.
Our love lives on though you do not.
Alone during the night,
finding another, I cannot.
I'll love you forever,
Just like I told you.
Our son and I will make it together,
and you'll always be our inner tattoo.
Author notes
Not personal.
A contest entry
- Peer Pressure Contest!! You decide the trophy winners!! by Zenda-Lokki.
1700 points, ended January 7, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I think you forgot to capitalize the father's name in the third stanza. It should be "Ben."
I think this was more telling than showing and it kind of lacked imagery. The idea was good, but I don't know if you really executed it. -
A sad poem but filled with so much emotion, enough to make the reader feel it too. Great poem hun, good luck in the contest xx
Del
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Touching write here. Sad too. I can feel the emotions all through this. Great job!
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awwww
that was very touching hun. i know it says it's not personal but i could feel the hurt and also the love coming from the piece. made me think of some of the people that come when i'm working. it's great... looking forward to your next work...
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So touching and strong here hunny once again, this is like a story of girl and his boyfriend that is a soldier or something like that, how hard it is to be away from the loved one...
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