your lips sunrise around me -
naturally
I succumb,
like the moon
In a list
- Beautiful Words by Beautiful People I Know • next in list
- Astralshepherd's List of Amazing Poets at All Poetry • next in list
- Truly Amazing Poetry by My AP Favorites • next in list
A contest entry
- Short Pre-Writes by Heroesrox.
400 points, ended June 15, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 70 of 70
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LOL i bet you did Very very beautiful dear a lovely infact sensational poem
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congradulations on the gold
again, just a sigh!
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thank you!
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Very nice! I love how you utilized the word 'sunrise'! Awesome work here. Thanks so much for the share!
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thank you so much - glad you enjoyed this little morning song!
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From all but a few words,
you made poetry.
This is TRUE poetry
right here.. doesn't even
have to be lengthy to
prove so -
Wonderful
There is nothing I can say to do this work justice my words pale in comparison to this piece so wonderfully written. My heartfelt thank you for this most exquisite post.
Lady E
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Thank you, once again
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sweet and short to the point.
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I can invent a comment to try to do justice to this - however, "perfect" will have to suffice as I can't imagine writing a word or several that describe it as less than that....
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i like the idea that the moon givees into the powers that surround it within the universe it is a beautiful idea.. i love that you give in and yet it is a great sort of giving in that is so beautifully shown in shuch a short poem loved it
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few words say so much.beautiful
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Brilliant.
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Dear Nicolette,
This is a brilliant poetic thought! And so delicately woven to create the magic it holds!
Naturally, words succumb to thoughts! You are such a natural poetess, your words become poetry as they fall on paper. They shine like pearls of poetry; they hold a poetic thought, indeed!! Way to go.......and thanks for sharing!
Blessings always,
Sophie -
this comes at so full of age old wisdom.i am humbled by your sheer grasp on your inner thoughts and your astounding ability to pen them. you think a poem and it happens. your talent is immeasurable and although i have read you before, it's been a couple of years, i can see why paula send me to read you. i've missed out i see.
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oh wow! this is superb. so short yet it spoke volumes. i love how u connected everything in this, it just makes this poem round and full keep penning, i love it
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thank you, beauty of silence
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gorgeous.
I hope your vacation was magical. -
What beautiful brevity, it warms the spirit with glowing abundance.Splendidly done indeed.
Thanks for sharing your poetic talent.
Tony
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read... and lips curved into a smile...need I say more!
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I read this several times and think sometimes it's no wonder the moon pales in silence at such dawning. It's far too busy gathering sweet secrets to spill among the amaranth ruffles of midnight.
~K
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priceless & precious
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oh my god, gorgeous.
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thank you! i'm in Arkansas at the moment. Last week in Memphis it was very warm, but i'm going to Chicago tomorrow and there it will be brrrrrr cold!!
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eee! i cant believe i didnt see this until like 8000 days later! i hope you are enjoying your -albeit cold- stay in the states. we had a rainy christmas in california, but now its hot hot hot! lol
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Sun and moon both take their turns, both surrender and subside to the other ... equally, as do partners, lovers, friends ... I like this. Short but effective
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this is very beautiful
and....
you are in the states and i wonder and hope you are happy and ok
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like the day engulfs, so much surrender in this poem but yet a natural path of being there. Very nice Nic
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Hi Nicolette, I nice little piece with its own gravity! Simple and lovely.
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awwwww
such simplicity and yet soooo amazing!
*sigh*
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thank you!!
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Romantic and sweet.
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Nice.
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About, morning song (http://allpoetry.com/poem/4821546) Even when you are limited to the confines of brevity, within a contest, your heart shines brilliantly upon the line. I agree with Yemasse with regard to the use of ‘like A moon” and “like THE moon” - - it is such a subtle thing, but crucial to meaning within the poem. I would like to point out that, not only is the moon a symbol for romance but the divine feminine as well…and here I would make a comment with regard to word choice - - instead of ‘sink’ I would choose ‘surrender’ as alluded to in Allyce May’s wonderful comment - - but that’s just me, I capitulate far too frequently – its second nature to me. ( or is it nurture?
) Sorry to ramble, love your poem – I apologize for not visiting your work more often. Blessings and best wishes,
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well that must be one heck of a feeling dear! Amazing you truly are!
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simply heavenly.
Love, Lane
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You never quite stop astonishing people with your seamless poetry that is also simply beautiful on all levels.
Kim
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Simply beautiful
A stunning write.
Love
Alyzeh
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sunrise as a verb
very cool
short and sweet
the way i like it
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Did I not comment on this? I SUCK!! Lately, I have tired of making comprehensive and insightful comments. Your poetry makes me feel, and I think THAT is what you should know about. The "lips sunrising" caught my breath, the absolute beauty and perfection of it, and it is heading your way sweetness THEN, the sinking like the moon. The rise and the fall is perfection in conjunction to the love one feels. That floaty feeling followed by a surrender, a burial almost - the consumation. Your words are so perfectly thought out.
Beautiful Nicolette
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Now see what I mean,
I wish I could write short poetry like this... immaculate
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beautiful poetry, astounding metaphor
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you melt me, like the moon
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unbelievably beautiful
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"Like a moon" I wonder if that was intentional instead of "like the moon?" It, for me, creates subtle meaning changes. Just my rhetorical nonsense.
Interesting use of the word, "sunrise" and I read it as a reverberation...the warmth/pleasure spreading/surrounding through, over, around.
Of course "I sink" is an important line, it suggests the action, the power that this feeling has...it's both graphic and emotional...a succumbing.
And of course the moon is the ultimate symbol of romance...well, second to Moxie.
I would like to congratulate the celestial body that will see the sun rise in less than ten days...(your author notes)
Thanks for adding to the contest.
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Thanks, Yemasse...ja i think you're right about "the"
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sigh....you've done it again, Nic...wowed me with your so, so very beautiful poetry
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beautifully done.
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The picture is precious as unique miniature framed with your love. Was that what I want say? Well, you do it much better with less words.
~Sonja~
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tears
most most most beautiful
how did i miss this one... damned flu-like symptoms i have, have made my head fill up with cotton wool and snot ... lololol
sigh sigh sigh
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sunrise around - surround (stripped of any sense of hostility)
love this
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sigh...
I'd like to have this kind of morning songs
a feeling of awakening...
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Short, sweet, and wonderfully written. You say so much with so little. That's talent.
Good luck.
Safe journey.
Garrison
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simply beautiful like a sunrise...PK
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This is so romantic... You always have the most creative images and metaphors for love. I love this.
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very beautiful...
al
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ahhh
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short, sweet, and to the point...
i love your music, liefie
and you
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Sighhh...There ain't nothin' "micro" 'bout those feelings, though. {sings backup for Chez} "my Guy, my Guy". Gorgeousness & then some. Jeepers. Vlindertjie
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this is a beautiful morning song, so much imagery & feel for 11 words! well done...Nic=)
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Beautiful...
Oh so beautifully sung...you add colour without mentioning colours...you paint a symphony re the morning glory...and there is no need for the reader to feel anything else except this beautific balance within the ascension and the agreable freefall into the moment...the momentus...magical melting...micro-poetry...you just waved it with lover's wings fluttering...opening...not closing but being enveloped...eleven words that slow dance harmony and resonate...snuck inside the number eleven is "even" even the number of words has a balance inside...if I could bottle your essence and sprinkle it across the world I like to feel everyone would feel better...
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Celestial!
lovely words
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Speechless....again.
You always paint my heart with beautiful colors, my friend.
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Astonishing...
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beautiful. love it.
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ahhh... there it is..
beautiful, perfect
poetry..
a nicolette poem... wonderful
m
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Another one of yours I'd gladly bottle and enjoy in small sips...
Simply lovely
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loved this
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lovely poem... naturally!
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for some strange reason i want to start singing 'nothing you could do could make me untrue to my guy' C
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