Do Not Mourn

Doubled over in my own emotional anguish

Mourning all that I could and should have accomplished

Drowning in a pain that stabs at my heart in the worst way

Dreams and goals proved to be nothing more than ruses

Twisting the knife into my deepest hopes and desires

Guaranteeing that every last wish is crushed

Finally accepting the fact that I will never be more than nothing

Nothing special, nothing important, nothing out of the ordinary

Do not mourn for me though, because I mourn for you

For the pain I will put you all through

For the agony of realizing what I have done, what I have yet to do

For the unsaid words, unresolved conflicts, and unrequited love

And I apologize

For being selfish, for being idiotic, for being anything less that perfect

Because it is my own fault

For slacking, for not wanting to reach full potential

And for not having the courage to go through with this

But above anything else, I apologize for even attempting

Attempting to succeed, attempting to change,  attempting to exist