I woke her up early, a quarter past five.
"It’s a beautiful day, let’s go take a drive.”
She didn’t jump up and exclaim I was right.
Instead, “Go away, it’s the middle of the night.”
"C’mon” I said, “Trust me. Let’s go and explore.”
I knew of a place she had not seen before.
I finally convinced her to get up and go,
I promised her one unforgettable show.
I drove her that morning to a place that I knew,
with a panoramic scene from a mountain top view.
Below in the valley as far as could see,
was a misty cloud winding like roots of a tree.
The lights from the city like stars all aligned.
A painting so perfect, God’s blessing defined.
Then a bright glowing ball on the horizon arose,
rays of light danced with a brilliant repose.
Breathtaking, beautiful, awesome, serene.
No words could describe what I had just seen.
A moment like that, I could never replace.
It wasn’t the sun, but the look on her face.
Author notes
Though she won't admit it, it happened exactly this way. We were in Branson, a couple of months after we were married. It was an awesome look, and a terrific sunrise... I will never forget it. option6, option1
In a list
A contest entry
- Pumpkin Pie by GypsyEyes.
400 points, ended December 22, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Clarity, Shiny, Lifehouse, and Champagne? by shadowlyn infinitas.
700 points, ended December 11, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happiness Explosion =) by pumpykin.
550 points, ended December 14, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lots of Options!!!!! by HeavensNewestAngel.
700 points, ended December 17, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Life You Wish You Could Have.... by gigglesalot.
800 points, ended December 16, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Against All Odds, We Touched the Stars with Our Toes by PaintedParisPassion.
550 points, ended December 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happy Moments by Good Mourning Moon.
700 points, ended December 26, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - risks and choices by transit.
650 points, ended February 12, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love. (Prewrites welcome) by Coloured Skies.
600 points, ended February 3, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold rhymed poems only. by ecrivain01.
550 points, ended February 11, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Move Yourself by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended February 23, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In the name of love!!! by Sick Sunshine.
600 points, ended February 23, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Wow... That last line made the poem metamorphose from a generic beautiful nature poem to a love story.
Excellent write here! Loving that last line -
Wow beautiful!
I loved the way you rhymed the poem and that made it flow perfect. Good luck and thankyou for entering.
Tash.
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I enjoyed it
Hey Dr Zeus (LOL) I wish I had your talent.Just about every poem you take me somewhere I've been before.
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yeah,, yeah
some publisher once told me I was too Dr Suessy (thinking he was slamming me for my style)... I said, you mean, Dr Suess? the guy that sold, what? a billion dollars worth of poetry?... thanks for yours, I truly took it as a compliment (from you)_...So, I take you somewhere you've been before? try out "the list", and "court date" bet you haven't been there before...lol -- Kevin -
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Bet I havent been there before.
Read he restoreth my soul in my poems.It's kind of like both of these.
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ooo
Iove the way you love your beloved and this is a sweet story which says just how much the littlest of things can mean.
The rhyme was good but I just felt you could have given a bit more emotion to this beautiful memory. good luck!!
transit~
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Such a beautiful poem.
A wonderful memory to hold in your heart and mind.
Love the lines...
"was a misty cloud winding like a roots of a tree"
"It wasn't the sun but the look on her face"
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hey my friend
thanks, this one was easy, it happened exactly this way - Kevin
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wow
such a good ballad alot of descriptive words!well done and the best of luck in the contest
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cool
I cherish "wow's" what an awesome thing for a writer. - Kevin
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This is a beautiful poem and it must've been even better in person. I can only imagine. This is an incredibly romantic piece. It definitely deserved Gold!!! What a cute write!
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thanks
it was a very cool morning - one I'll never forget - Kevin
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I LOVE THIS!! so great! the last sentence is the truth in the whole poem, while the description is everything. so awesome.
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this was easy
to write... since every word happened just exactly like I described it.... thanks for the review - Kevin
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Oh my goodness this is so breath taking. very sweet. i love the flow and how it tells a true story. thanks so much for entering my contest and good luck. keep writing.
peace and love
B -
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thanks
it was breathtaking, which made it easy to write... a "moment in life" - Kevin
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aw this was beautiful! made me all teary eyed haha
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thanks
it truly was an easy write, it happened exactly like this. II love you name, very cool (I assume it's true) - Kevin
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This is a great poem you wrote! Thank you for sharing and best of luck in my contest!
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Very sweet
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you've presented a lovely story here. It sounds like an amazing experience and the fact that it actually happened makes it just that much better. nice twist at the end too. I just wish I knew which song this was supposed to go with as I mentioned in my last comment. Thanks for entering and best wishes.
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thanks
sorry, I meant to get back, was out of town. it was the "you & me" song. I appreciate your comments - Keviin
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please put the appropriate song title from the contest in your AN. I'll be back to comment later.
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The imagery in this is breathtakingly beutiful and the rhyme scheme flows so nicely ^^ A terrific write, thank you for entering my contest
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Thanks
for the stage to share the work. I appreciate your comments. This was a pretty easy write, it happened exactly this way... word for word. Thanks again - Kevin
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Wow! the ending-it was amazingly beautiful,it made me smile! the rhyme flowed stunningly,this was such a magical loveable write-goodluck
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Very nice
I appreciate your words and your enthusiasm. It was an easy write, it happened exactly this way, Branson, Missouri. It was a gorgeous sunrise. btw I like your name... very cool - take care - Kevin
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EXCELLENT
Breathtaking, beautiful, awesome, serene.
No words could describe what I had just seen.
A moment like that, I could never replace.
It wasn’t the sun, but the look on her face.
such a tender response
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Thanks
this was a fun and easy write... it happened just like this, word for word. - take care - Kevin
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