don't fret, sweet darling
these saltwater-faded letters
wrapped up in papyrus scrolls
will slowly unravel
like tangles in your blackstone hair-
we'll make our mosque
under the date palm trees
and whisper lingering prayers
to be carried away
on love's most prevailing winds-
sweet darling, don't fret
when our legs grow tired and weary
and sands swell our lungs
we'll raise a lofty sail
on love's most prevailing winds-
to safe passage across the red sea.
Author notes
inspiration from damien rice's - "sleep don't weep"
artist credit: http://deghelie.deviantart.com/art/Love-v-true-4-64476302
A contest entry
- Contest- Symbiosis by g r e y i s m.
875 points, ended December 20, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Johnny Cash Meets Rumi...
or maybe Damien Rice meets Dougie Maclean.
You've married Heaven and Earth beautifully here, in message, language and metaphor.
Okay, can't resist...Finnegan's Wake meets Jimmy Buffet.
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great job!
beautiful work
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Beautifully Inspiring...
Wishing you all the best in the contest!! 
Peace always, Cyn xx 
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Rustic flavor, just pure calm essence, I love the palm trees vision and just whispering such prayers, just feeling at peace...beautiful flow. Blessings
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damien rice is amazing. I liked this a lot too. the imagery in that first stanza was just incredible. it was a cool, peaceful, and rich poem for it's length too.
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I came to read this poem as someone featured it as being written by the oldest member of AP.... 23 years is damn old lol
for your age much maturity is shown in how well you express yourself in words and language, you have a great understanding of others works, to even write as well as you do...
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This is so beautiful! I loved reading it!
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Thank you for your comments.
They are greatly appreciated.
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I've been meaning to look some of your work up, as you're a friend of good friend of mine.
Im so glad this was spotlighted, I would have missed it, and that would have been very bad.
I think you've a touch of the classic romanticist in this write, and it's so refreshing to see.
sweet darling, don't fret
when our legs grow tired and weary
and sands swell our lungs
we'll raise a lofty sail
I love anything with a historic appeal, and you cannot get much better than sand swelling the lungs.
Absolutely gorgeous.
Love,
Jin
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I liked it. The peom is very well writin and i like the way it sounds.
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This was beautiful. You have such a soft touch with words, you make them melt upon the page.. Truly wonderful. Thank you very much for sharing..
Angel
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What a beautiful read this one is! I don't know damien rice, but I love this read! Reminds me of something that I would say to another!
Best of luck in this contest!
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This write is a thing of beauty. Your style of writng , to me tends to be of periot of the past. All and all am excellent write.
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A lovely write this is, sweet and endearing.
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Damien Rice eh? Love his music. You should listen to Coconut Skins! Love that too!
Now about this piece. Well, what can I say you have mastered pretty much in all areas. =/ I envy you! With imagery this strong, I think I can paint the scene with eyes closed. Lovely flow and romanticism! Good luck in the contest. This too shall win a trophy!
Love
Alyzeh
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This speaks purely, and the imagery in this promise makes me sigh. Love's prevailing winds and saltwater-faded letters do endure. You touch the gallant faith, the trials and tears and the victories of love knots. Beautifully romantic and well written, scribe!
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I love this. I will be back to read again. I keep re-reading your work
hehe
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Very nice imagery sustained throuhout. Stanza one is terrific with "blackstone hair" Stanza two the "prayer" imagery works extremely well. Stanza three, reeks with romanticism, excellant!
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this is so beautiful - esp. stanza two=)
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Wonderful
Very creative and so well expressed. Best of luck in the contest.
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Bravo!!...I was there in the moment...you captured the song so beautifully
Mariana
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This does seem to go very well with the song by Damien Rice. I happen to be extremely fond of him as an artist. I am therefore loving this poem. The last stanza especially caught my attention. Beautifully done. ♥
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Wow, way to put me to shame!
This is a gorgeous poem, I can only hope you'll write many more like it!
Thank you for the comment! -
Very beautiful poem. Reminds me of times when I have been in the tropics... Everything seems unhurried and calm. Lovely.
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this is gorgeous , it reminds me of the smell of banana boat .. coconut and sunny. Things that have been touched by the salty dust of the sea are almost always beautiful
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Thank you so much! You're too kind.
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OH! I forgot to wish you luck in the contest but seriously, you do not need it. I mean. This is GOLD GOLD GOLD! Oh and I forgot the hug
Much love
Ylova
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Okay. First of all! I LOVE Damien Rice!! Especially that song!! (8) Wear another shoe to comfort the soul(8) Sigh! Hehe. Alright rue then, back to your poem! I read this 3 times! It is remarkable! Really, I mean it. The imagery is just pure beauty. The flow is flawless. The love the descriptive words and basically just all the words. This is a masterpiece! I love it, love it, love it! You are one heck of a writer! I totally love your work!! But you already knew that! Hehehe. Okay, so I am definitely bookmarking this!!! And you so deserve more clappies!!!~ Hmph!
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