the clock pulsed:
seeing,
tasting,
hearing,
smelling
{discarded}
now five a.m.,
when my hands
touch, wear
this glittery cotton
the lawn became
fingers frozen with meaning
as the sunrise
awakening me.
In a list
A contest entry
- first frost by AJ Morelli.
2700 points, ended December 7, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best PreWrite. by Kastor.
470 points, ended October 11, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Win More Than Once? by MJ Forgives.
1218 points, ended November 12, 230 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Really great poet. I enjoyed reading it. This is my favorite part:"this glittery cotton
the lawn became". I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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Is this what it is to be full of words and out of them at the same time? I think I see what you're saying with this but I want to know if I'm wrong or missing something.
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Like this beautiful and imaginative imagery of glittering lawn-like frosted cotton nightie and prayerful hands.
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a brain is a terrible thing to be discarded...
"my hands frozen
with meaning"
very nice entry, thanks
al -
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i edited more, perhaps even tighter now ... if you want to look.
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Only someone form or presently living in the northern regions of the US and equal longitudes would truely realize the danger of such beauty , as you describe. Wonderful write. I use to live in St.Paul , Mn. and I've seen it plenty of times . Every time the first one of the season is the best. Good luck in the contest.
Cheryl
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Impressive use of metaphor and imagery. They are woven together to illustrate a fabric of both awakening and frosty feel of a chilly dawn. I am truly taken aback at your use of language and poetic device for someone so young. Such a huge talent I see blossoming upon these pages.... I look forward to seeing more from your pen!
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