Temperate
twisting
tendrils.
Hazy
humid
heat.
Whistling
and whirling,
swaying
and swirling.
Smoky
serpentine
sprigs.
Feathery
floating
flumes.
Curling
and coiling,
a watched pot
never boiling.
Author notes
This just came to mind as I watched a kettle boiling earlier. I really dont have anything better to do with my time than watch kettles boiling! 
Also, it's a kind of metaphor for all the things we want in life, that never happen until we stop looking.
* Name - Beckie
* Age - 29
* Style - I seem to write a bit of everything, depending on my mood
* Why I want to be in the contest - I like contests like these, they are fun, challenging and always a great source of inspiration. Plus, it's a good way to find new writers to read.
A contest entry
- Imagery, Emotion, Imaginatinon by Commodore Rouge.
1050 points, ended November 30, 2008, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP X Factor: Round One [Auditions] by sideways hourglass.
650 points, ended January 1, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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61
originality: 6/10
creativity/poetic devices: 5/10
mechanics: 6/10
balance of images/ideas: 7/10
personality/emotion: 6/10
line breaking/structure: 4/10
personal opinion: 5/10
title: 4/5
rules followed: 5/5
focus: 4/5
cohesion: 2/5
diction: 3/5
syntax: 4/5
[extra credit] X Factor: 0/5
TOTAL: 61
Laura
-
67
originality: 6
creativity/poetic devices: 6
mechanics: 7
balance of images/ideas: 6
personality/emotion: 6
line breaking/structure: 7
personal opinion: 6
title: 3
rules followed: 5
focus: 5
cohesion: 5
diction: 3
syntax: 2
[extra credit] X Factor: 0
TOTAL POSSIBLE: 100
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52
originality: 6/10
creativity/poetic devices: 4/10
mechanics: 6/10
balance of images/ideas: 4/10
personality/emotion: 1/10
line breaking/structure: 5/10
personal opinion: 5/10
title: 2/5
rules followed: 5/5
focus: 5/5
cohesion: 5/5
diction: 3/5
syntax: 1/5
[extra credit] X Factor: 0/5
TOTAL: 52
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This seems like just an image, without any abstract, metaphoric, or second level of meaning. I think you described the image very well - with some nice alliterations and cute rhymes though.
I'm just having a hard time finding meaning. What is the significance of this pot?
If you make it to the next round, you're going to have to do more than write an image; the images are going to have to have meaning - if you want to be up there with the other talented poets in the competition.
This is just my opinion.
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I love the alliteration and your use of vocabulary. A bit of this seemed a little repetitive and maybe unnecessary, but I think this shows a lot of potential.
I love the last stanza, by the way.
~Cassie
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Very good use of rhythm and flow to make this poem read like a song is sung. I like to picture a literal interpretation of this, noir style, in my head. Very classic feel to an age old adage. Very nice, indeed!
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this is good congrats on the silver trophy
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This is amazing!
You've included a variety of literary elements, and looking for those types of things in poetry is a fun thing for me.
I love the personification and alliteration, and of course, the imagery and intense use of metaphors. You've illustrated two elements of life within one theme, and you engaged me while I read.
The title made me very curious as I was scrolling down the poetry list, and I was even more intruiged with the last verse/stanza thinger, which also happened to be my favorite:
"Curling
and coiling,
a watched pot
never boiling."
That draws this piece to a thoughtful ending, and it leaves the reader "hanging" in a good way!
Thanks for sharing and entering in the contest.
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Wow, Cool!!!
Love the flow to this, very floaty...
And the style is great too with the matching 1st letters, then a rhymey bit...
Really enjoyed it...
Well done!!!
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:) thgis is great
and you reflect from nothing that just amazing , that the differnces between sumone whos feeding the soul and sumone who doesnt you do and its inspiring
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