This darkness enfolds every breath that I take,
Darkened voices cry out from every gate.
Quickly I ran from gate number one,
Possessing the knowledge that lust isn’t fun,
Swiftly approaching gate number two,
Looking straight down,
Hey look!,
That’s my shoe!,
Slowly assessing the creature before me,
This creature mimicked and looked just like me,
Its hair was like a falling blanket of snow,
I asked what its name was,
She said I should know,
She then spoke of innocence lost not so long ago,
She said this is what happens when darkness takes your soul,
But change your future child and ours shall not be so,
The creature before me,
Her face grew soft,
Act quickly child before we both are lost.
Swiftly I ran to the next gate,
For what it held there,
I knew not to wait.
Megan E. Kestel
5/21/08
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very nicely penned
My one main suggestion is that you break this up into stanzas instead of just leaving it as one big block of text

