The first day you touched me
you-know-where,
my thoughts glazed over
and you were confronted
by the strangest blank stare.
A fountain erupted high,
you did not expect,
the weirdest groans escaped,
highlighting the truth
of all those years of neglect.
It was over in a flash,
I am so sorry to say,
embarrassment needs rectified;
you could do it again
right now, if I had my way.
I have the strangest urge
to touch you somewhere,
but where do I start
to fumble and feel?
Choices, choices, I’m sure you’re aware.
If I only knew how
to make you mumble and cry
and see your contortions,
skinny dip in the moisture
of places once dry.
I have no experience,
I don’t know if I’m the best,
but let’s do it again,
give me a few more tries,
you’ll like it better than the rest.
Author notes
Stipulations for this round:
For this round you will all be writing erotic humor. It is your individual challenges that will be different.
My Stipulations:
-Can not include any body part in your write
-No letter 'A' in your title
-30 line limit
Also:
1. Why you feel you should win this challenge.
2. What you liked and disliked about it.
30 written lines exactly.
1. It's not for me to say nor judge why I feel I should win this challenge, that's really up to others to decide, all I wanted (and hoped to have done) is my best and offer some work for people to read and enjoy.
2. There is nothing I can say that stood out about the challenges that I would say I disliked, though some were tougher than I was expecting and the Magazine round was definately a surprise and found that quite tough. Also, the rounds where teaming or collaborating were involved were also tough, though moreso logistically due to everyone being on at different times etc, so that isn't a dislike or a failing of the challenge, so to speak.
I personally enjoyed the story round, which is a surprise to me as it filled me with dread. Each round was varied and gave good scope to write somthing different each time. Each round also gave plenty of time on deadlines which was also a good thing in my opinion. Judges were fair and judging consistant. It also gave a good opportunity to see and read other peoples work that I wasn't familiar with (other than Riftkin, who I've had on my faves for ages).
Other than that, I can't think of anything, it was an enjoyable experience all in.
A contest entry
- The Erotic Challenge (Final Round Season 8) by Master Ktulu.
1800 points, ended December 6, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
An excellent write, the balance between humour and erotica is perfect. It has been a rare pleasure to read you over the series of challenges, Good luck !
-
The first day you touched me
you-know-where
i found this to be very cute and it made me smile thinking back onto the days of being a teenager with someone for the first time and conscious of what words we used, in fact in some ways this whole writing takes me back to the teenage years and how awkard things were. it is in this way that i do see the humor and i did chuckled while reading it, also makes me happy that i am now past this stage.
spelling/grammar=20
how well you handled the challenge=20
grab me=20
presentation=20
overall=20
total=100
-
Thank You!!
Thank You for Your entry: The Stress Of Inexperience
This piece tugged hard and though I am not as talented when it comes to Erotic Humor (just like my story writing). I base on how it makes me feel, how reader friendly it is to digest but most of all- did it have cohesiveness I thoroughly enjoyed the story for You had me chuckling in spots where You could not name the body part but beat around the bush so to speak- gave me quite a laugh-quite Creative at least for me- While I was reading which I do several times before making a comment~ Images come to me in many forms~ while taking in Your words: I was able to envision the scenario- and I kept getting nudged to mention- in this particular piece- for some reason- it felt like at times You may have been holding back a tad- for I imagined You have more in Your arsenal that would get the reader on the floor rolling if brought forth~ seemed like there was some hesitancy but did enjoy what You brought forward 
You had a challenge of NOT incorporating (body parts) also line count- Overall I would have certainly found it difficult myself to pen such a piece as this
Execution Wonderful
I will try to keep this one short but in summary
Magnificent verse entered ~
Challenge Matrix:
spelling/grammar/punctuation- 20
presentation/creativity- 20
how well you handled the challenge-20
"grab me" effect (how much did we enjoy reading this piece)- 18
overall-20
For a total of 98 points
Sensual images & message You have brought forth
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Hope to read more...
Best wishes to You in the challenge Sweet Soul
**Judging will be done shortly...
Many blessings too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
-
I liked this. It wasn't as humourous as I would have hoped for though, but none-the-less the story aspect is still great.
spelling/grammar/punctuation=20
Nothing to complain about here, all is good and well in the world of spelling and grammar..lol
how well you handled the challenge=18
I think there could have been a bit more humour here. Even though the stipulations prevented you from usage of body parts, I believe that there was a bit of potential that was not shown.
presentation=20
grab me effect=20
overall=18
Total= 96
**Master Ktulu** -
and see your contortions,
skinny dip in the moisture
of places once dry.
Those were some of the best lines for me. I was happy with how you did this since you really did get the humor, the structured rhyming for me and the stipulations right. I have enjoyed you in the challenge and I hope to see you in another since I like being involved in these challenges. Now for the scoring:
Grammar/ spelling/ punctuation: 20
Creativity/ presentation: 20
Grab me effect: 17
This score does not reflect anything negative - the piece was great, but there are things I generally do not like in poetry that I could see in this one such as using adjectives and throwing off your rhythm by doing that (use of weirdest for instance). Also some of the lines seemed a little less elegant for want of a better term although they do fit into the humor theme (choices, choices for instances). Sorry about this.
How well you handled the challenge: 20
Overall: 19
Total: 96
This was a great effort and well worth the read. It was a pleasure getting to share in your writing. -
Great one here hon you did so well what was asked for! Good luck in the contest
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