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A Temporary Fate

Before there ever was
a you

there was me -
a lost-in-the-crowd girl
with no agenda
no money
nothing tangible
but a whole lot of space

I drifted

across countries
by foot and train,
in one life
then out the next,
nibbling on boys
and men
with no agenda
no money
but who had lots of flavor
and wily ideas

I drifted

into cathedrals
holy grottos
left priests perplexed
by my silent confessions,
prayed only
on the coldest nights,
ate soup in cafes
while I clutched nubby pencils
and wrote down
reasons
to keep on going

I drifted

back to the world
put on clothes
walked hallways
used books as pillows
carved out a plan
decided it was time to be
something more
than who I was;

I turned a corner
caught a whiff of flowers

red and yellow
and then...

 

there was you.

 

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1 - 83 of 83

  • Garmond gold member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    Well this deserves the gold trophy that it rest on. I don't care what the contest was... this is stunning. Leaves the reader fascinated with the character.... brave, raw, wild, free, wise..... then: Change... irresistible capture. Such brilliance with the pen... just steals the reader away on a ride of intrigue and fascination. Standing applauding.


  • carlylane
    June 1
    Edit | Reply

    Absolutely Beautiful!!!


  • Shatter.Me.Fast
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    Okay,
    I'm 13 years old and I still find this beatiful and filled with wisdom.
    You seem to be so sure and so...wise as you moved forward. It's like feeling as if through every word I'm drawn in as If I'm feeling it,
    I love your work dearie!(:


  • Heroesrox
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    OMFG!!!!! This is simply brilliant. I love the very first part. It adds a whole impact that I think the piece would not have if that were not there! Thanks for sharing.


  • EvilKate
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    Heh. I'd just like the record to show that I picked this aaaages ago ....


  • penman gold member
    January 23
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very creative and well done. Always full of insight and truth. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way this is all about reaching in and how that act brings about the strength to reach out.
    You build and stack, taking us from the present...
    back and then seem to symbolize all the experience gathered as a vase of flowers ready to be inhaled with appreciation. Blue


  • zappa gold member
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I've drifted too. still have the same pencil I wrote my first poem with.
    you're Flavor and ideas I'd love to share "
    All I have -flowers and a hot cup of coffee. missing you though.


  • Sesheta
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I always get lost in your words, and I like it that way...you are my favorite poet, you are more than talented enough to publish and get paid for your work...I mean seriously...your work is so delicious, I can't wait to eat it up, six or ten times...beautiful...


    • Dalaney gold member
      December 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much. your words really make me feel good. i'm not as positive that i could ever be published, but it doesn't really matter. when i write here and someone takes the time to give me a boost, like you have, it is all i want or need.
      Love, Lane

      • Sesheta
        December 29, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Spoken like a true writer.

        I'm not sure any writer worth reading ever feels worthy to be published, or wants to. That's for audiences and family members to urge.

        No matter, really. That's why AP exists!


  • marc creamore
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I've been away too long, so this morning I've been sitting here in front of my computor screen getting my fix of Lanie . . . I cannot comment on all that I have read this morning, but just let me say that you are a poetic treasure to me, someone who never fails to touch my heart, my mind, my soul with your sensitive and deeply rooted phrases of truth and beauty . . .

    Marc


  • thepoetssoul
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a brilliant piece of poetry you have written.
    Your words flow wonderfully capturing my mind within these vivid images.Beautiful work poet
    May you be blessed in all you do.

    Tony


  • Swan song gold member
    December 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Dam what part of this is not awesome!!!!


  • sheltered
    December 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this brought a huge smile to my face
    being a drifter is more appealing to me now
    than bananas without a split

    • Dalaney gold member
      December 27, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      happy i could make you smile...
      yes, those were the days, my
      friend. i'm going to be doing
      it again soon

      Laney


      • sheltered
        December 27, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        i've always been askeered
        to leave this roost
        except on certain trips
        upon a magic carpet
        in my mind

        • Dalaney gold member
          December 27, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          my magic carpet is royal blue
          and offers frequent flyer miles -
          i take off at least five times a
          day. maybe i'll see you some time


          • sheltered
            December 27, 2008

            Edit | Reply
            i'll thumb a ride some fly-by
            and we will be the clouds
            close, without wisp or worry
            when the storm comes


  • parenchma
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Truly you do exceptional work. It is a priveldge, priveledge, (effen ell!) where is a spell chek when you need it... Oh yeah. It is an honor to comment on your work...


  • JinSays gold member
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW.
    In a word:
    ME
    this is me Lane, however did you know?
    It was those envious priests, huh?
    Bastards.
    Kidding, but no, not really.
    I can sooooo relate to this poem, I am a drifter by nature, and will drift until Im dead.
    My chidren are the same way by their own nature, and we're alright with it.
    There was him, and that's when similarities part.
    But until this lasty past year, I always felt that I didnt drift into him by accident, that's for sure.
    Love always,
    Jin

  • Eusebius
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It is impossible, really, to describ a poem, though I want to know why this one makes me both sad, and hopeful. It is such a brilliant and quiet poem, that soars on broad and beautiful wings...


  • Everwind Rising
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Took me on your travels, left me wanting to know all those new experiences, and then left me thirsty for that personal connection that love brings. This poem I love. It builds up so beautifully to that last line and left me with a sense of knowing and wanting to know so much more.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant but then what about your poetry isn;t, what a journey of self discovery this is, all tied up with such a perfect ending. Another stunner my lady. Best to you in the contest


  • jake0715 gold member
    December 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    that was awesome.

  • saphira547
    December 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very sweet

  • saphira547
    December 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very swee


  • psychoticmusician101
    December 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely written. definitly a fav. of mine, now.


  • devilorangel83
    December 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    NICE NICE NICE


  • Nicolette gold member
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is lovely poetry, Lane. It reads like a time-line from before "you" and after "you". No wonder you're always at the top of the popular list with poetry like this!!

    ~ Nicolette


  • firevixen7
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. Your word usage is astounding, and how you explain whats going on without having to. It makes you stop and think about it


  • kamranAslam
    December 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lovely poem.loved it reading .great


  • Alyzeh
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was so beautiful. Another stunning write. I hadn't been reading much poetry, but it feels good to be back.

    Good luck to you, you certainly dont need it though.
    Love
    Alyzeh


  • Amera gold member
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! You also drifted into the heart of this reader and stole her heart with your golden pen. There is only one Lane and she has become my role model.

    Love,
    Amera♥

  • a.t
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful

  • Rowan gold member
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    One of your finest Laney, I loved this, from grottos to cathedrals, it took my breath away.


  • Chocolate Dime
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The combination of reality, truth, and the simple beauty of life mixed this poem very well. It was very original and interesting. I loved the abrupt turn at the end, because that's how life is, it's not a big drawn-out fairytale.

    "I turned a corner
    caught a whiff of flowers

    red and yellow
    and then...



    there was you."

    I really liked how the flowers correspond with "you." Magnificent job.


  • writeroftoast
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, I loved this write. I was genuinely original, and the penning was excellent. Your imagery and metaphors are beautiful, and I am glad that I clicked on this poem. Loved it.


  • Lactar Wolfgang
    December 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    great

    great write i love your words

  • shan700
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! The ending caught me unawares, but that was just another great thing to add up to how great this is. Well done.


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    December 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow .. is all i can say


  • nevadapoet
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful piece...the ending caught me off guard...I was expecting to read about the woman you had become, or maybe that is the ending..."there was you" Is that there was you...someone else in your life, or "there was you"...you the woman you have become?
    In any event, I loved it, I love the imagery and flow, as if traveling down a road describing the landscape as you walk.
    Always a pleasure.
    Shelly


  • Oleander
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful, I feel I can relate to it as well. Good wording,& good effort.


  • OctoberCrush
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I drifted

    ....and I.....
    Absolutely Love this.

    Amazing Job. Truly.<3


  • Jersene gold member
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm speechless

  • capetownlover
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i'm having trouble with the interpretation of this one. don't get me wrong, this is a top shelf write, as always, i just don't get exactly where you're going with this journey.

    let me tell you what i think, and you can correct me if i'm wrong.. the last line, is obviously the curveball here. you describe throughout the poem, a journey through life's toils and how it get better for you and you get everything "rosey" (flowers red and yellow) and then comes the bomb - "then there was you".

    it seems like the "you" that you are referring to has taken all that away from you.

    the reason i doubt this is because of the other interpretation being that the "you" is a continuation of the good life, completing it.

    either way, this is an inspiring write and i enjoyed every word.

    peace,
    CT

    3 bunnies


  • CaliOkie silver member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    We are not who we are, but who we are becoming. Around the next corner is the future and we make of it what we will.

    Excellent write.

    Garrison


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    another exceptional write...
    before there was you...there was an empty spot on my favorites list, just waiting to be filled by my favorite poet. I'm glad I'm able to read your work.
    Rory


  • Ja Vorbesc
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing, just so you know.


  • poetryality silver member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dearest Lane,

    I traveled with you and discovered that the journey was as it should have been. No doubt, no matter the circumstances, these happenings shape who we become. I love the feel of the poem in its entirety but the last stanza brought a smile. A stunning work! I wish you well in the challenge.


    Always ♥

    Renee


  • nordicsky silver member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yesterday, at my first poetry workshop, I learnt that the power of poetry lies in its ability to condense a story into a few powerful, emotive words and phrases. Here you have squeezed the first volume of an autobiography in to a short poem. I was also shown the intrinsic beauty of language, but I already appreciated that from reading your amazing poetry.

    Love, Peter


  • arafura gold member
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful my friend. I can't pick out one favourite part. I love it all.


  • chilali
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You just posted this a day ago! And already, look at the great response! And I am not surprised either. Your work is amazing. You always capture the reader, with every single write. I could never get distracted by anything else while reading your work! You need to teach me to do that! =P Haha. Okay, about this one. It was just beautiful. Imagery is just fantastic. This will definitely make color me silent feel better! I just know it! Good luck in the contest


  • notorious
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm listening to Sex & Love by Faber Drive, which I think is enhancing my reading atmosphere...

    ...not like it needs to be enhanced.
    This is bloody fucking brilliant; you should never wait for my comments with your breath held in.

    Anyways, I really fancied the short ass line breaks; they're just so...effective.

    "nothing tangible
    but a whole lot of space"
    Oh I love this; it sounds so..."Well, I don't have that, but do I have this."
    And as for not having anything tangible...you might say that poetically, but I don't believe it.

    The repetition of "no agenda/no money"
    It was completely UN-hokey and just well, freaking awesome. (Yeah, I sound uneducated when I talk and type sometimes. )
    Get published dammit.

    "left priests perplexed
    by my silent confessions,"
    Oh god how I lovelovelove this.
    Today, I stubbed my fourth toe underneath a kitchen chair.
    It hurt like a bitch.

    ...
    that hurt, in a good way.
    And more so.
    I think that entire stanza has to my be favorite.

    That beginning & ending parallels nicely.

    ;
    Jessica


  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Harvey,

    I would trade a bag of M&M"S(peanut no less) to have had some of your life experiences. Let me look deep inside and see if I can find something bore-ing to write about.
    Joe


  • sailor ptolema
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i always get really excited when you post something new. it's the main reason i check ap everyday


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    once again this shows something i mean this is a wonderfully done poem that just has a lot of hate to it, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • Pure Thought silver member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    My Lady

    This is what I have read in your poetry to date, can't wait for the sequel, 'after his arrival.'
    Far be it from my talent to paint you this well. Much I don't know about you, but I have so enjoyed learning of you and look forward to learning more.


  • ziniicecream
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the repetition of agenda & money. The essence of the poem reminds me of traveling in Europe, staying in hostels with more time than money, a more come hither approach than a reproachful one. I've never gone backpacking in Europe, but I think the collective stories of friends who have done so indicate that the experiences were unforgettable.

    I do not think the following words flow well:
    decided it was time to be
    something more
    than whatever it was
    I was;

    I read it aloud several times and it seems to jut out from the cadence of the poem.

    Thank you for your work. Nibbling on boys is like dark chocolate for me. I got tired of the supposed beneficial, nutritional effects. But I still crave it even though I am in a happy & healthy relationship.


  • styrofoam
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    love the title (:

    is the 'you' you? i think it is (: glad you found her.

    i love nubby pencils.


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow...this is really good! very fresh and beautifully written...all i can say is wow


  • Balldinger silver member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    penny skipper...


  • tomisb
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply



  • Topnotchsy
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There's a ancient Jewish saying, "Words that come from the heart, enter the heart." I can't think of a better way to describe the way your poetry hits people.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    boy do i know..

    these emotions you've penned to such perfection! wow, before there ever was a you..man believe me this is hitting the nail, right on the head! excellent as if there were ever a doubt..


  • HaleyMary
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write, Lane. This makes me think of how in life everyone may feel lost sometimes, but along the way there can be people who come into our lives and show us something that we may have never thought was possible and could make life happier. Thanks for sharing your talent and best of luck in the contest. Hope your Thanksgiving was good.

    Haley Mary


  • Cannonsfire
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol I had trouble going past the image of nibbling on boys and men...my eyes were drawn back to that stanza a few times...you write such visual pieces I feel like I am in your movie just observing C


  • usefuldistraction
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I seem to love your travels, from adventure to THE adventure. It is always another person that is the greatest one! Very nice write.!


  • Swan song gold member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    OH WHAT A WAY TO GO


  • Swan song gold member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Men will be the death of you dear
    as women have been to me lol
    I loved it!


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    there was me -
    a lost-in-the-crowd girl
    with no agenda
    no money
    nothing tangible
    but a whole lot of space

    I feel like this right now

    ditto with Ms Kate, from the heart


    Anna Lee


  • EvilKate
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply


    Beyond: Written from a place of heart.




  • DolceVito gold member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Just stunning, Lane.


  • jazzcat gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very powerful and a great read overall. I like the style you use here, the pacing is perfect for the subject matter. There are several great phrases, my favoite is that whole last stanza.


  • nancy drew
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    just, wow.

  • Just a poet gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How can I write now?
    There is nothing I can do that gets close to this, I am amazed and delighted to read it, this is life written in bold strokes, emotion placed with the precision of a Swiss watchmaker and the end result is a classic gold pocket watch, that fits in the hand as though it was there at bitrh and keeps time to the second over a lifetime.
    Superb!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is, quite simply beautiful and brilliant.

    I cannot think of much more to say, this takes the breath away, wonderful poetry. I wish i could even start to put this into my words.


    Stunning.


  • stasis
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "ate soup in cafes
    while I clutched nubby pencils
    and wrote down
    reasons
    to keep on going"


    I love that. And I love this. It's exactly how I feel about my boyfriend right now... it's like, things were so... empty before they got there. The way you delivered this was perfect, there is nothing that I can find to complain about. This is going to be a lot harder to judge than my first favorites contest.

    Thank you so much for entering and best of luck in the contest.

    ♣ Tegan


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Probably the most brilliant extended metaphor I have read in a long time. Wonderful stuff.


  • IronMaiden1236
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    DITTO!!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I will return.


  • BehindTheShadow
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful, and I love the way the read brings you full circle, Splendid!

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