You were the one I tried my all to save
I wish that you were here to hold my hand
But you are not so I must understand
Tonight I laid a rosebud on your grave
My friends have said that I've been very brave
To stand the loss but never shed a tear
I cannot cry the world would drown I fear
Tonight I laid a rosebud on your grave
This is the only way I can behave
I stand because I dare not stop and fall
If I should fall I'll never stand at all
Tonight I laid a rosebud on your grave
You were the one I tried my all to save
Tonight I laid a rosebud on your grave
In a list
A contest entry
- Goodbye My Friend by Peachy.
550 points, ended December 13, 2008, 37 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroses by ScreaminMime.
1750 points, ended January 3, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me honestly what you think, good or bad.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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wow
this is very sweet and thoughtfull to do a poem of i really enjoyed reading this well done and keep penning
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Ah, such beautiful melancholy. =] This one plucks at the heartstrings, because it's a nightmare, yet one that's bound to happen within our lifetimes; that we lose someone that we love.
In my few years, that's not something that I've had to face . . . yet.
Your writing is stellar, and I agree that this is worth more than a bronze.
Best wishes,
Zach -
A vivid image...
'Tonight I laid a rosebud on your grave' ...wow. This is indeed a very vivid impression to beguile your readers into the right mood for this poem.
A rosebud encapsulates new life, promise, awakening, opening, emergence ~ birth, if you will...and then we see the starkness of the grave...
Very cleverly penned. Worth more than a Bronze, I feel.
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Beautiful kyirelle sonnet, and it has such a haunting lilt, wonderful imagery that moves the heart. Very powerful, with a supurb flow. Well done my friend, congrats on the trophy.
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A lovely tribute to someone who is really loved and very much missed, beautifully wrought
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This is beautifully sorrowful...this shows so much love and emotions that are being hidden come out in this write...
I love the repetition and that way you set up your lines! Just Amazing! Beautiful work! Really Amazing!!!
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This is crafted so well that the craft doesn't show! The emotion comes through so well, and is so touching. I love the repetition of the rosebud line; it is a beautiful image.
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Congrats on the Bronze this recieved ~
The soft repetition of 'I laid a rosebud on your grave' adds to the loss felt within; This is deeply moving and strong yet so delicate at the same time
A beautiful poem to read
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Lovely, touching, timeless. Best of luck to you.
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This was spooky in a beautiful, dreamlike way. The form was very effective and I quite liked it. The repetition of the line "Tonight I laid a rosebud on your grave" gave it such a sad feel to the poem and it really makes you feel something.
Thanks for entering and good luck!
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This hit me deep, since you have been calling me Your Texas Tory Rose for months now, I see something in it. This is hard, for I have made decisions and have backed away from many, you have worded this with such emotion it makes me weak. Amera said it, *You allow the reader to feel your tears*
Well done and beyond.
I love you
Tory
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This is so sad, you have set an amazing graveside image that allows the reader to feel your tears. Simple but powerful. Nice work!
Love,
Amera♥
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