I love you is like lightening--
just a rumble and then a crash
& it falls away;
just a shot of self denial -
banana boat bananza
& I'll be fine -
I lived through it before.
Author notes
You know how it goes;
In a list
A contest entry
- Peer Pressure Contest!! You decide the trophy winners!! by Zenda-Lokki.
1700 points, ended January 7, 77 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
~♥~
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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well done
congratulations on the bromze
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the obituary contest requires a minimum of twenty lines, which your poem does not have
thank you for entering this contest -
Definitely an interesting write. I enjoyed this
Well done and best to you in the contests.
Love
Ylova
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Now this is kinda, umh, twisted. Its like, your poem, it seems it has given up. Like it dosen't really care and just don't give a damn....
bets of luck anyway -
This is short, compact and puts your point across perfectly. I love the lightening comparison. It's fantastic: I've never thought of it like that, and it's definitely accurate. It's brilliant. This flows well, and the last line really packs a punch and screams of hope. I love this, it's great.
Fantastic write. -
very nicely done
this was a well written piece - short and to the point
love sometimes isn't what we had expected -
I saw the title of this poem and thought it would be good because the title sounded pretty. I think this is a pleasent little poem you have here. Short, but sweet. I really like the first stanza (Because of the lightening simalie), but the second one I'm still kind of not sure about... hmm... Even so, I liked this short little poem.
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i think "lightening" is "lightning"
"banana boat bananza"--like that.
Very short but very nice! Thank you for sharing this. -
Wow I love this, it's simple yet intense Good luck in the contest ^^
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I like it, it's true and in so few words you say all that needs to be said.
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Short but very expressive. Enjoyable read, good luck in the contests xx
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Sometimes, this can be very much true, but sometimes, the times that it matters, it isn't, but the problem is telling them apart and also not denying it or closing our ears to it when it is real.
Good write.
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once you have lived through i love you, it is kind of hard to say again don't you think, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Very nice. I love the first stanza! and the last line was a brilliant way to show how real it is. Keep on writing and best of luck in the contest. ~TC
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