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Atomic Bond



Does our atomic chemistry match,

or are we a radioactive compound?

--------

Like sodium, you burn bridges

just the heart's not quite as strong,

as the london underground.
The lithium lollypop's - our love -

makes our kisses complete,

though you intoxicate me

& the fireworks go off around us,

like we are at Plymouth pier.

Nothing synthetic -

completely catatonic chemistry

ready to explode momentarily.

The times reality struck

& my heart let go

til nothing was left but
Exhausted electrons,

in search of a positive charge,

to feel a stable bond.

-------

Hydroxide--you are the water,

that runs through my veins;

bringing moisture to membranes,

to moisten my brain -

& I the oxgyen, you're breathe

what you need to survive,

we're like childhood friendships,

just a little more grown up.

But still, Hydrogen detaches easily

& Oxygen is easily ignited;

Hydrochloride now is the bond,

you & her can survive -

& I'll keep the world going on my own.
  

 

Author notes

crappp...sorry honey.
but yeah, got the idea of compounds...you know, atomic bonds

word prompt; microscopic.

In a list

A contest entry

~♥~

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • aanika
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    yes.

    thanks for entering.

  • angela.
    February 4
    Edit | Reply

    yes.


    Please wait for the other judges comment.

  • angela.
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    This is my personal comment for the catharsis rounds.
    Upon the closing of the contest, I will comment back with a 'yes' or 'no.'

    That being said, this was really cute.
    Your metaphor was really great, and unique.
    I wasn't getting as much emotion as I would've liked, but your imagery was great. =]

    I'll be back.


  • aanika
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    this was so cute!
    I love the chemistry metaphors they made me smile
    also the last two lines were good

    you & her can survive -

    & I'll keep the world going on my own.

    the only thing I can suggest is more emotion.
    thanks for entering

  • magnolia. gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Firstly, well done on winning silver in a previous contest, you deserve it.
    I thought plymouth pier was bombed?

    Anyway, thank you for entering.


  • film noir
    December 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this poem and the metaphors. It's one of the original poems in this contest so far.

    Good Luck in the contest.

    - Aly


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    December 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    All i can say about this is it was worded fantastically.
    Great work.
    Thanks for entering
    Laura.

  • Desire gold member
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wowzers!!

    Who needs Science class when one can come here to inhale this
    Excellent take on the prompt and I wanted to hear more
    Even had my notepad out for future reference~
    Bravo!!
    Love this stanza:
    Exhausted electrons,
    in search of a positive charge,
    to feel a stable bond.


    Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
    -Throws confetti-
    Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo


    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is clever and creative, i don't think any poet i have seen has thought of something like this, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest, but i think you got this


  • innocence jaded.xx
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wonderful :]
    word: microscopic. ♥

  • innocence jaded.xx
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    anyway you could pick something else dear :]
1 - 12 of 12