I thought
Papa
Would come home
Someday
From war.
Mommy...?
A contest entry
- pen brilliance in 10 words by Lavender Butterfly.
550 points, ended November 29, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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At first i read it i didnt think much of it, but then i kept on thinking about how its so simple yet i can;t get its eerie echo out my head! I just keep re-reading it... Im not sure how u managed this :-S Magic!
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Aww thank you for such a kind comment
i really appreciate it!
have an awesome day
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this was really attention grabbing and very thought provoking in such few words
another fantastic poem
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Aww thanks Rhythm!
Peace x
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sincerely sad... x
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Thank you, Gypsy.
I really enjoyed entering this contest actually, I liked the prompt very much. x
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You catch our attention by your words...Not only Papa...and the war, but Mommy...give us reason to wonder and we are saddened....Good luck in the contest, dear!
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Oh my word....brilliant! So succint, so rich, so powerfully emotional, yet...innocent. Wow...now you know its good when it takes as more words to comment on a poem...then the writer used to write it! Spendid job and good luck!
love, Ocean
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Hehehe you're funny.
thanks!
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woow! love it!
so much feeling in soo little words!!
see i love the shorter things (like this) cuz i think they leave the reader thinking about what it meens and what happened
xxx
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Thankyou Taz x x
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Katie, this poem is excellent. Even though its so short, you ALWAYS manage to have this amazingly strong power over your readers. This poem is excellent and nooo, I look up to you for the inspiration, because your amazing. Keep writing!
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Thanks Miki
really kind of you to say so, thanks!
but truly.. I am inspired by you.
please keep penning, I am your no. 1 fan!
x
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ooo i like this one. very deep and powerful 10 words that makes the reader understand exactly what's going on and yet we hear the little girl ask her mother this really heartbreaking question. aw..this just sad
Great write and good luck
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Aaw thanks Cathryn!
You're so sweet, thank you
Have a lovely day x
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aww this almost made me cry. your 10 words made such a huge impact. they hit me, and i'm sure they hit many others too. this told such a tragic story. keep penning. and all the best in the contest
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Ooo thank you Beauty, that's really kind of you
peace and love to you x
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powerful
this poem oozes emotion and makes the reader feel the sense of loss and confusion created by the deep yet short sentiment expressed by this skillful writer.
The ending is especially poignant:
"Mommy...?"
Very good write!
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Thanks so much babyk
peace and love x
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