Another day was passing by,
People were going back home,
The night seemed calm and quiet,
When all of a sudden there was a fight.
A demented few had guns in their hands,
And were determined to kill as many as they can,
A few brave-hearts tried defending this city,
And paid the ultimate price; Oh what a pity!
The cowards fired indiscriminately,
And killed man, woman and child,
Innocent people lost their lives,
The scene was so grim that it was like God Himself cried.
Not satisfied with the destruction they had caused,
They made their way to a hospital, a residential building and 2 hotels,
All they wanted was to kill and kill,
As they had already done their conscience.
The grim news spread far and wide,
And everyone waited and waited,
To know that the city they so loved,
Would in no way be destructed.
The workers of iniquity did not give up,
And foolishly tried putting up a fight,
They were against the very best Men in the world,
And would not triumph no matter how hard they tried.
It was all but over for the evil men,
When the hostages were finally rescued,
But some were not as fortunate,
As they were put to rest.
People began wondering where was the God of this City,
He looked down from His throne with fire in His eyes,
And guided the brave-souls who defended His children,
And uttered the words "Enough is enough".
The fools who had absolutely no remorse,
Were caught in their own trap,
They knew this would be their end,
And the brave-hearts would make sure they never went back.
They had a taste of their own medicine,
And could not do a thing,
The men whose brothers and sisters they had killed,
Would make sure that they would never sing.
It was all over now,
The last of them had been killed,
A shout of joy and a scream of praise went up,
As the only words that were being echoed were "Enough is enough".
Author notes
This is in memory of all the brave people who laid down their lives so that we could live another day. This is also in memory of all the innocent people who were brutally killed by the cowards in the dastardly terrorist attack on Mumbai (26-29th November 2008)
God Bless India
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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the way u have expressed the feelings lakhs of mumbaikars feel is awesome .simple and straight to the point .the line that caught my attention was "they had a taste of their own medicine".even though they have such people never learn ,destruction is all that matters to them!!!!!!!!!
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tough subject matter
A message like this is always relevant and good to see. Mumbai did jump immediately to mind as I read it, it being a city recently spread all over the news for this reason, but there are many cities this could apply to just as well.
There were a few grammatical/spelling errors, a couple of which I listed below, that detracted a bit from the point. Easily fixed, though. Also there was some unnecessary repetition (like brave-hearted, brave people). There is also a combination of format that confuses. Some verses have rhyming, some do not.
Some lovely phrases in here, and well expressed emotion. I'd watch the verbosity, though. Sometimes less is more, and you don't want your audience to lose the forest for the trees. A piece like this is meant to impact the reader (well, all writing is really, but I am referring to the strong sense of purpose behind social pieces.) It can be incredibly hard to include specific references without breaking form...this is something I have struggled with myself! Free verse might serve you best, which this is closest to already.
They say opinions are like arseholes, and you are always free to discard mine! Since you featured it, though, I wanted to give you truly honest and useful feedback. Best of luck with your writing!
C
residential instead of resedential
"would in no way be destructed." the tense form of destructed is wrong here. Try destroyed or "would in no way face destruction" maybe.
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Thanks for the comment and for your opinion. Really appreciate it, except ofcourse the swearing...lol
God Bless,
Josh
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I really like the message here. It is certainly powerful. However, the rhyming scheme lost me.
My favorite line is: "All they wanted was to kill and kill as they had already done their conscience." Very good, indeed. Thanks for undertaking such a serious subject and doing a good job with it. Shancy.
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Superb Plus
A very fine write, indeed. I've never understood those who turn to violence to solve problems. A fine tribute. This also reminds me of the series I wrote about war. Here's a link if you would care to read any of them:
http://allpoetry.com/list/57523-War
Thanks for sharing.
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well written!:-)
i agree people need to realize that violence is not the answer, i like your poem. it speaks the truth. how much more can we, as people, take? keep writing. you have a voice! -
This is really good. Thanks for sharing
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I will have to echo the title with you....It is certainly enough...
A touching poem here and salute to all our heroes....
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Thank you..... I hope our country finally stands up...
God Bless,
Josh
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very well written...
an eye awakning for all of us and for the those who have been giving such issues a cold eye..its high time that we stand up against this evil and wash it out comletely...these 3 days have been full of sorrow and has shaken india..hope it brings our system and the so called runners of this system come alive to this issue..
my heart goes out to all those who have suffered loss and injury.
i salute the forces for their courageous act.It is also commendable how the people not just from the city but the entire country stood as one.
thanks for writing this piece which details the tragidious escapade through and through.
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Thank You
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Perfect Title
Beautifully expressed....A great tribute to those who lost their lives...My heart goes out to all these innocent people killed and injured, the people of India, and the residents of Mumbai.
all the best...
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Wonderfully expressed.
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I agree. If there has ever been a more mentally ill, morally repugnant and spiritually ignorant group of people on earth than the Islamic terrorists and their sympathizers, I don't know who it was. The world will be a better place for sane, civilized people when they're all dead and gone, and I hope that day comes soon.
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beautifully penned. A true tribute to those who lost their lives.
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Good
The extent of harm done cannot be redone.. Enough is enough is perfect..it voices our cry..
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