I went back,
back to the beginning again.
I went way
way back,
when we rode out of here.
Now I never ever turned around,
but I could still hear it calling me.
Well,
I'm sitting here riding shot gun,
driving far away from you.
I am just sitting here,
and I'm rolling,
and I'm singing these old blues.
You ain't ever gonna
find me nowhere,
let some other fool
pay your house and dues.
Author notes
They call it stormy Monday,
But Tuesday's just as bad.
A contest entry
- Rhyme,Lyrics, Prose, Dirty Pretty. by Antebellum.
800 points, ended September 24, 290 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1059 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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Yeah
That really did read like a blues song. Well done!
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Wednesday gets better?
how lyrical! I could hear your Irish lilt reciting this reproachful piece. always enjoy reading your work.
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Really good
Very powerful,felt like you were actually singing it,
Orangutan -
I could totally see this transforming into a song. Beautifully written!!
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I love the ending.
stunning write.
very lyrical
thans you for entering -
This is a pretty good piece. I like how you wrote it! I really liked reading it.
twiztidmaggot -
Wow, the emotion comes through so well in this write. That last stanza was very powerful. Very nice write.
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Wow are you letting her have it or what? Very expressive, smooth write, packed with a powerful punch. Well done. Blessings
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*ouch*
This was like a slap to the face!
I could feel hurt ,pain,and anger from this piece.
Seemed like you were singing the blues and drinking .
Bet you had that guitar out strumming it as you wrote this while the cigarette smoke fogged around you..I could picture it all now..
Ooo I feel a poem coming on now ...
This one stung
As always a great write!
-Amanda
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4 stars
I simply loved it -
I like this a lot.... wish I had seen this the day it was published.... my 18th birthday....
a truly lovely piece of introspection..... I love it. <3
Kelly
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I guess
your last stanza summed this all up nicely:
You ain't ever gonna
find me nowhere,
let some other fool
pay your house and dues.
Looks to me like someone else is singing the blues here! 
So...the protagonist of the poem doesn't want to be anyone's patsy eh? 
Sounds like this could be a good blues song alright! 
Good going.... 
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just putting on some soulful blues and taking a drive away from it.
It's simple and you do it with grace.
I like your work a lot. This one is no exception. Thanks again for an enjoyable read!
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nice
-
Just mentioning the Blues recalls emotions, feelings and experiences. Nice write here, and I hope your Tuesday's (as well as every other day) clear up a bit. (Though as far as a Blue's line, that's a great one.)
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I like it, someone smartened up, keep stepping
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Thanks for your entry. It told a nice story.
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They call it stormy Monday,
But Tuesday's just as bad.
and so is wednesday, thursday, fri.... etc. sorry you had to have this experience. i hope things get better for you. viyanna rosemarie
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I like this alot!!! But I always enjoy your poetry but this one had a classic rock kinda feel that I really liked
"I am just sitting here,
and I'm rolling,
and I'm singing these old blues.
You ain't ever gonna
find me nowhere,
let some other fool
pay your house and dues."
Good Job and idk how I havent read this one before!!
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I could not have been more moved by this friend....you know i will soon have to stop reading your work as it makes me feel so unworthy to read it and sad that, compared to your, my skills are so mediocore..lol
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I see the ol twelve bar riff as it meanders through this verse and takes us down ol blues lane with me ol sixstring acoustic itchin me fingers with the words all i can say is play those blues with feeling man yo got it swirlin and turnin in real kool ..you got the dues in that thar blues
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I just love that last stanza. Sometimes it feels so good to start over.
Best wishes,
Khia
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This very much reads as song lyrics - in the wonderful tones of Janis Joplin and bluesy guitar - whiskey soaked, tasting of nicotine and bittersweet realization. Lovely.
I identify most with the first few lines - beginning again, no matter how frightening, is still a renewal and I like the optimism throughout the piece.
I also liked the fact that you kept it short and succinct - which is another reason it appeals to me in the nature of lyrics. Too much and it would have been overdone but less and it would have left your reader needing a bit more fleshing out. So, perfect!
Thank you for this addition to my contest. Much luck!
- Bean -
I'm kinda dealing with someone else's crap right now. I like how descriptive this was. Great write!
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its beautiful i love the dercriptiveness in your words
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Very good
Very descriptive. Thats what I'm doing rolling along singing and sometimes crying the blues, but I'm glad you are not turning back. I love this:
You ain't ever gonna
find me nowhere,
let some other fool
pay your house and dues.
Thanks for entering and good luck!
-
Why should you have to deal with someone elses mistakes... Do all what is there responsibility to do. Loving someone doesn't mean putting up with their crap, it means compromise, understanding and trust.
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ouch,
song lyrics? if not they should be..
kinda makes me want to say, if you've got an address, ill take care of it for you.
hmmm. ive always toyed with the idea of being an
assassin....
but seriously, this is like a
punch to the gut. glad you
didnt look back. -
lol that was brilliant, you captured the blues, the repetition and the f-u at the end, loved it, short, sweet and to the point,
-
nice clearly expressed ideas in fine words...
-
Superb plus
Ah, 'tis a fine write, just the way it is. You always express your ideas so clearly. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
Kicked that trollop to the curb, did you? Or rather...you hit the road yourself...lol
I loved the last couple lines..it's like "Listen here, wench, I'll not be your errand boy anymore!"
You've discovered you were just another in a long "chain of fools..."
That feeling is one that I have certainly been familiar with in the past. It has made me wiser, more cautious...but sometimes I think it has also robbed me of some great joy that I could have experienced, had I not been so timid.
Nice write.
Much love,
Tabby
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awww, the blues...I can hear the guitar, smell the smoke and taste the whiskey while reading this....great work!
Rory
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You been there...
all the time bro, don't ya know the further we go forward the more we look backward...it's all about roots, it's all about where you started, what level you were on when ya got here...it's a journey of circles, we keep goin round and round, a circle has no beginning nor end, that's why it's a circle, sorry I been away my friend, I been living out some circles of my own...
we all need space sometimes,
tell me about Mondays,
Tuesdays too
and I'll tell ya
about all the days
I think about you
Walk good Liam
your brother
John
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I love it. It is very chill... the words roll one after another like a nail in your tire drifting into the sunset. I like the simplicity, yet it also leaves me wanting more. The key to a great piece, right? Keep on penning, poet... your words inspire us all!!
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Great!!!! I can hear it in my head sung by robert johnson or leadbelly.
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WOW!!!!this is some serious stuff here, What were you thinking...sitting at one place and moving away thats something I can relate to.OLD BLUES!!! yeah blues....beautiful and humming blues, flying in the daylight and sinking in the night , those blues.... And the last 3 line ......thinking......
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Well, I'll comment first on the style, and then the actual poem.
The style is very...different for you brother. You repeated yourself in the second stanza, so in the first 4 lines, you use the word back 3 times...It kind of jars the reader a little bit. In line 6, the "never ever" after the repetition of the back, seems a bit much to me...Sounded like you could do without the "ever", but that's just my two cents on it. But I see repetition throughout the entire poem: back, sitting, the ING sound...Was that desired ?
Ok, now for the actual poem.
This was very cool...The idea of being next to someone, but being worlds away is something that is so...foreign to someone that hasn't experienced it. When you have experienced something like that, you can appreciate the words.
The emotions of a fed up man...
When you've had enough...
Never to be found again...
Because the past reigns supreme...
FANTASTIC STUFF!
3 applause....I'd give 5 if I could
PEACE BROTHER,
BRANDON
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this is yet another great write from you. i enjoyed reading this
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Gimmie a harmonica and lets play this sucker out! lol! I was laughing hard. It actually really liked it. You are such a darling poet love. So lovely, so well written!!!!!!! Keep up the sha awesome work!!
Mucho lovo,
Mylee
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Oh wow!! Loved your ending, the begining was like a little sad and then the ending was so shocking and kind of funny. Really enjoyed the read, I always enjoy your writes for they are unique and not so stright.
Much love
~Noor
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Fantastic
You never cease to amaze me with your rhythmic talent and flow. Great story line as well. Loved it,
, Gypsy
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wow
this is brilliant, the whole poem roles so smoothly, it has so much feeling and so vivid, i can even hear them blues, brilliant!! and this poem just suits my mood right now!!
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Nice job. It made me think of Lightning Hopkins or Sonny Boy Williams. I enjoyed the poem very much.
Mike
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this is an awesome write liam, almost like a song, it would sound great accompanied by your blues harmonica
im just sitting here
and drinkin
and singng those old blues
wow, love it. i salute you my fine irish friend
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this hits at a fairly strange time, I'll message you with it. Looking back down the road once traveled is never easy. To always hear the past calling upon you relentlessly. Sometimes the visions of the past can indeed draw you away from the now. I do really enjoy the ...nuff said ending.
Good stuff my brother,
Peace be with you,
Michael
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Wow
Ya, and I'm just sittin' here singing the blues.
We've all lived this same song.
The lyrics are all well worn and I never say her name out loud. -c
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It has a pleasant lilt when read aloud. I find it very different from your other poems though, not in a bad way though. So I wonder if you're trying something new?
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