following the wind
for it must have known I'd sinned
pushes me along its path
waiting for a sudden laugh
joy
as it plays me like a toy
o boy
this glee
as far as i can see
under its whims
its numbs my limbs
as it carves me into me
and as far as i can see my thought
it makes me all i need
and allow this breeze to blossom me
out of this compressed seed
A contest entry
- Contest. by PerfectImperfection.
800 points, ended December 10, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
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The emotion here feels forced to me; stifled if you will. Your imagery is random, yet thoughtful - and a bit awkward:
"as it carves me into me"
.. just an example. An interesting glimpse into the image. Thank you for your entry!
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This is a really good write. Brilliant work
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