Looking peripherally for my grass,
winter walks towards me
with its hands tight over chest,
glossed in a colossal jacket,
asking for a hat.
I shook my head
as fakeness polluted the air,
while muffled roots like bones
crept through my ear's cave
in oblong cries, inhaling brown breath
stiff as fence slats
without verdant blades.
I've seen the privacy of crops,
rowed as grained wood, peeled
by plowed chem-lines, embroidering frostbite
on December's responsibility ~
I'd rather be clothed
in grasshopper wings clipped to my hearing,
watch barrels of peonias and sunshine
spray nature's emphasis
Author notes
first snow today ~ Friday, November - 28 - 2008
In a list
A contest entry
- Celebration on 500 Trophies! by Harrisham Minhas.
1500 points, ended December 7, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Win More Than Once? by MJ Forgives.
1218 points, ended November 12, 230 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
got a kind critique? it's my kind of milk.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Really good poem. I enjoyed reading it. Your poem caught my attention. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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I love good stark imagery. I have a feeling from this you are an outdoorsy person. When I was younger (much younger) I had ponies. I remember once it snowed and my uncle called me to go check my pony. she was galloping across a snow covered field.She had not seen snow before.
I will return and read more when I have a chance.
Helen
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You're right, I do love nature. And, thanks for sharing your story, now giving an extra touch to my emotion, Helen.
I want to be in the field right now, but it's nighttime,
Daisy
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Wow~
Now this is imagery to bring a smile to the Mind
Love the weaving of words~
also these lines:
I've seen the privacy of crops,
rowed as grained wood, peeled
Excellent Voice!
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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This is a beautifully-crafted poem, written with imagry and metaphors.
It also tells how much you like the summers over winters.
Great job!
Thanks for your entry.
Harrisham Minhas
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You portrayed my poem well ...
And, I summarize my silver win as shocking! My work can be beautiful to me whether receiving something or nothing, but accomplishments keep me going one step further! One thing though, I wish summer would have snow-like fluffiness that wouldn't melt in dream temperatures hehe.
Now I've many glossy colors on my poem page, lol, thank you again,
Daisy
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"glossed in a colossal jacket," i love that ...
"while muffled roots like bones
crept through my ear's cave"
and the fence slats and the barrel of peonies...i would rather be there too, although, it snowed here today and i did enjoy it....lol
lots to love here..imagery wise, everything about it - wow!
i feel the title is how winter kidnaps us from fall, summer, other seasons...
[it's hands i think should be its=)]
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i looked in baby names the meaning of your name; "hillside, tower" ... how perfect here, you usually catch what my mamma and I have missed
I think I've forgotten to practice if the word can be split logically. Oh, my Mamma's going to want me to express out even this little problem, for she can't sit right with me - like she's emphasized the error of 'taller than me' if fitting each verb. {I edit my own poetry, she only steps in last minute or more lol for supervision.} Thanks for that reminder, I'll try to put on my glasses scholarly more often.
you got my intention! I too appreciate the excitement snow has since it's our first, and we had to wait and wait, but still I miss brisk green. it's my favorite color.
i wanna go outside anyway - three inches deep! keeping my gloves off the keyboard.
Daisy
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