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i'm in love, & always will be

 "Your eyes...their ice cold"

"Yeah I know it's my only way of protecting myself,it's my defense"

"Against who"

"The truth

 

i.

Im knee deep in faded jeans and torn shreds of insecurites.

You etched and sketched your way into my heart,into layers of indecivesivness. 
You always said "I'll catch you before you even hit the ground"
Well the autumn leaves are falling and so am I

 

you gave me a promise so where are you?

 

ii.

Shifting my leather clad fingers through torn pockets just looking for some loose pennies and those watermelon suckers you always tasted of .

My hand meets emptiness once again just another wasted memory.

i taste salty almost bittersweet reminders on the corners of my cherry stained lips

 

iii.I remember falling into your emerald green eyes and tracing those maroon freckles the scattered across the bridge of your nose getting lost in the moment but then someone presses play and we're nothing more or less

 

 

 

Author notes

working on it =]

most of my poems seem forced to me so im just trying to go with the flow with this one


funny fact[i think its probably more weird =/ ]

I love the movie ET im always saying "ET phone home" and pointing my finger to outerspace.
[you gotta see the movie to understand that]

In a list

A contest entry

opinions please

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • kill the lights
    January 27
    Edit | Reply
    love this.... and I love the background on your page, John Mayer is amazing.


  • star sparks
    December 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    DUDE! totally L.O.V.E. this... ur doing GREAT! <3


  • Chanson belle
    December 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is so good, so romantic
    good luck in the contest
    you deserve to win
    i love this


  • Jaffa-
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this. Really beautiful. I'm guessing your still working on it, just somehow doen't seem finished? Never the less i really liked it. Well done and good luck. Thank you or the entry.
    Fyi. It really doesn't seem forced. It went with the flow awesomely.


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    December 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic

    This was great. And it doesn't seem forced at all


  • FlamingoCroquet
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    1. Do you mean "getting lost" or "getting lose" in that last stanza?

    2. Favorite line "into layers of indecisiveness"

    3. "Falling into your eyes" is a little cliche

  • darkchemgirl
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very good. You've got awesome potentional and good luck in the contest. Remember all or nothing,


  • Mary O gold member
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! this is absolutely great. Metaphors are excellent. Well done.
    ~Mary O


  • Elenaliz
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love this. i dont think it seemed forced at all.it was different.refreshing.thanks for sharing your talent i enjoyed reading this very much.


  • Oleander
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is abstract and pretty original. I like the use of words, left me feeling- comforted. And like, the image of looking for pennies in your pockets- i found that extremely unique. Thanks for entering.

    Peace,

    SweetJane


  • innocence jaded.xx
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    title: i'm in love, & always will be. ♥

1 - 12 of 12