Close your eyes as all is well,
For when you awake it will be hell.
Earth shall be frozen, and time shall have stopped.
And you my dear, your heart shall have rot.
So don’t let me keep you from dreaming of peace,
Just remember when you awake you wont have a niece.
So lay down your head and dream of sweet kites,
Because by the end of tonight, all planes will end flight.
So go ahead and enter lala land,
For all I have is but one more demand...
When you awake and I am not here,
Remember who saved you my dear
Author notes
I'am not sure i did this right....
A contest entry
- Dreams with unhappy endings by Ignored.
400 points, ended November 29, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~*~*~Your absolute Best~*~*~ by Night Terrors.
550 points, ended March 26, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your best horror side by Short but cute.
1050 points, ended March 16, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
is it good?
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Good write. not very scary. But good.
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this is a good write not what im loookin for tho but a good right tho and it kinda hard to read with the words being red but thats really the only thing thats wrong is that its kinda hard to read
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Ohs i see sorry took wrong idea on prompt, you may remove and i'll jus write a new one, Thank you
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I think you should put "and time shall be stopped" rather than "of stopped." Although really it should be "time will have stopped." I think.
Jenny -
Very good
Oh the dream is the playground of the soul .A vision within that can take us to heaven or hell in the twitch of the eye . Very good write here and yes if we have wonderful dreams we should vision them in reality and see it through if we hae bad dreams leave then in lala land as an unused muse
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yup, thank you
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Its not weak its beautiful in its own unique way and I like it. It Is not the BEST. But it is a very good poem.
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lol ok thank you
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Ahh yes this is very nice! Great work on making the corrections. Looking forward to reading some more of your works.
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Thank you, and thank you again for remnding me i had correctionms to make
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sure sure any time Im more than happy to help
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woah jus got done readin some of the other entres mines weak lol
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Thanks for entering!
hey nice work on this poem I like the rhymes but i dont like the spelling and the not capitalizing of the first word of each line. Just to help you out in the future you might want to spell it all out and use good grammar because a lot of people are OCD about that kinda stuff. But your words and emotions were very well depicted in this poem. Best of Luck for you!
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i fixed it is it better now?
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thank you!
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This is very dark and sinister.. I love it. Best of luck.
Carrie
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thank you
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