I drew lines in the
ground that made
sense to no one
else but me.
through trial
and error, I
learned I didn't
stand out from
the other souls
who tried to
miserably
recreate the
romance of
their dreams.
so the wind
blew me away,
like the grains
of sand over
time.
Author notes
wind by Stefano83
A contest entry
- Contest. by PerfectImperfection.
800 points, ended December 10, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Hey, I really liked this. Its so despairing thought. I think what the speaker learned in the second stanza was all wrong... and YET, it is exactly the message we can get from so many of life's disappointments. The third stanza was an excellent image to make your point.
Great imagery and simplicity. Well done.
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That second stanza was wonderfully deep, I would liked to see even more of that here. This has a great appeal - your ending could be stronger. Nice write! Thank you for your entry!
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ahhh... i liked it! my favorite line:
"I
learned I didn't
stand out from
the other souls
who tried to
miserably
recreate the
romance of
their dreams"
nice job! =)
hugs,
adria <3
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great write! I particularly like the second stanza. the short and scattered lines make the poem seem like it is being blown away by the wind itself... wonderfully done!
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Interesting!
Super line: "so the wind
blew me away" -- a really good poem with a metaphor that is excellent! I don't think you really feel like this! But, it is a fine description of your feelings with a moment in time!
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