Darkness falls upon the walls
Upon the staircase gliding high
Shadows dancing, tripping, prancing
Up each step now by and by
Dusk revives to bring us wonder
Stillness will not settle here
Footsteps come - echoes whisper
A rising shudder - something near
Eyes behold a figure gliding
Up the staircase to the sky
Little hands grip the railings
Turns and smiles and winks an eye
Little Angel climbing upward
On the staircase winding round
Up toward the heavens waiting
disappears without a sound
Darkness falls upon the walls
Shadows flowing in the night
A little soul goes home to father
On a winding staircase flight
In a list
A contest entry
- Ghostly Photo by paw-writer.
675 points, ended December 4, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
Congrat on the shiney... As usual another good story. I love the way you put this together..
-
Superb
Ah, a fine spiritual write, about going home, as I put it. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one.
-
-
Thank you. Your comments are very much appreciated.
-
-
you are quite welcome
-
-
-
Awwwww! This is sooo cute. For a bit you think it might be something evil, but then turns out to be good. And such an appropriate background! Great job on both the poem and the background
-
-
The picture for the contest actually looks like a lady on the staircase but i thought it was fun to make it a cute little angel. thanks.
-
-
Very atmospheric and poignant writing. Congrats on the gold.
Mark
-
-
Thank you so much.
-
Thank you so much for your comments. They are truly appreciated.
-
-
Well done on a well deserved Gold, Ros
-
What a wonderful flow to this. "Shadows dancing, tripping, prancing" is great way to spin the darkness of shadows into a graceful image of beauty.
-
-
Thank you so much for your lovely comments. They are much appreciated and i am glad you liked this.
-
-
Amazing
I absolutely loved this
-
Awesome
Beautifully expressed write, highly enjoyable read. Great great rhyme, rhythm and story.
-
OOhh...My word! I am shivering as I write my comment..This is powerful, and so spiritual..God seems to be in this penning dear friend! The shiver is a witness to me of what I say. A little soul going back to heaven and their Father who created them..Those whose angels always behold the face of the Father.....Oh my...What a write, in rhyme, word, and impact...This is bookmarked...Your very best!
-
Wow! A very impressive poem, and a wonderful take on the picture prompt. Great rhyme and rhythm here. Nice write, and thanks so much for entering. Blessings, Patty
-
Condor
Very good poem! The rhyming is germane to your narrative.
I looked at the photo by the contest host as well, and you got it down really good here.
Funny thing, when I look at the photo I see a woman in great distress and probably crying, but it doesn't look like she is either ascending or descending the staircase. She is clutching the railing with both hands and her head is bowed over as if she is distraught and in tears.
Am I weird?
John
Good luck in your contest!
-
-
No. You are not weird by any means. At least i don't think so. I actually saw very much the same thing, but didn't want to write something stressful so preferred to think she had stopped for a breath of air. (she smiles). Thank you for your wonderful comments. I have a whole disk full of these types of photos. It is a favoured subject of mine.
-
-
What a great piece of writing and a wonderful take on the prompt picture.Rhythm, rhyme and flow are all very good. My personal suggestion would be to exchange " whispers echo' around with "echoes whisper" but that is just my opinion. Enjoyed the read.
-
-
Thanks, Bob. I took your advice and changed that bit. It really put a little slant on the way it is read. Thank you so much.
-
-
An excellent take on the prompt and the pic...One which tells of the times present when past brings itself to show and remember those gone. A spooky type of write that does what is required, well done indeed. ((shivvers))
-
-
Thanks, mate. I always appreciate your comments because i know you mean what you are saying and not just saying. I'm happy you liked it.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
