that
hidden smiles of woe
beneath a nail scrape
baited bone slide
chided inwards linger
A contest entry
- prewrites short by Melissa Gayle.
600 points, ended December 10, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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The alliteration works well here.
I really love the idea of 'baited bone'.
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Amazing where you can put a bone isn't it?
C
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i'd put it just about anywhere right now
so it's good that i'm alone... maybe... lol -
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lol go buy an Apple Pie, lol I hear it works quite well and at least it will taste good LOLOL
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hmmm...for some reason i'm beginning to salivate...could just be me...not sure....i dig this little bombshell...could be really hot in a torturous kinda way......i like it..yup...love your gift of brevity...this put a slightly sinister grin on my face for reasons unknown...i dig it
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"slightly sinister grin"
wow, that was exactly what i was going for -
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now i'm wickedly blushing.....
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