Early morning.
The watercolor day brightens as the sun,
unseen yet,
bleeds into the night with pastel hues.
A cup of Starbucks,
left from yesterday but almost full,
calls me with the microwave’s cricket sound.
The rising steam draws misty pictures against the window’s canvas.
I see a little boy, smudged face, toothy grin…
I remember him.
Happy days of youth when certainty was
found in a summer day on an old swing,
soaring like a bird,
watching clouds sculpt magical creatures,
and in laughter - joyously just because…
I refocus.
I see my face,
reflected in a smoky pane and backlit by dawn’s beauty,
stretched in a smile.
Optimism, fragilely built on Starbucks and simple things…
Author notes
Poem of the Month Contest
Theme: Starbucks and coffee colored thoughts
20 line limit
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM - by Bear by Arkbear.
3500 points, ended December 1, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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I've never understood the draw of over priced coffee, or coffee in general. How can someone liken the taste of something bitter to something beautiful and pleasant? But i like it. It's very interesting and different.
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awww this is so peaceful of a write. I really do like peaceful things. This flows so well. This has so much imagery in it. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for placing it on our friends reading list.
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this is really interesting, it's such a unique subject, but it still tells a story, the last line is just so powerful, it makes me think of troubled times right now, and although we want to optimistic and do everything as we always do you can't help but wonder
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Excellent
So very creative and so very poetic for starbucks. Best of luck in the contest
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Starbucks ... included among simple things. Almost $5.00 for a cup ... from my point of view not so simple but it's all a matter of perspective I guess.
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Hello and Welcome to POM!
Hello and welcome back KJ!
My first though was, oh my how i could relate to coffee from yesterday being warmed up.
These are simple pleasures that most don't think about in life.
Mines not Starbucks though
lol
I enjoyed this piece very much, i am kinda a simple girl with small town beliefs.
I love the way you took this to a warm memory into the present and still felt the sweetness of a small minute in your night.
Your flow was okay, i personally would have tidied up the lines a bit but it really didn't hurt my score any.
Great work!
My scores will be up at finale judging.
Best regards,
~Lisa~
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I liked this. An aesthetic, descriptive write with some pleasant imagery, and decent use of varied language. One thing I would say is that unfortunately some of the lines became a little prosey and did not flow well in my head.
Here are my scores.
Title: 8 - Something about the alliteration didn't really appeal to me, I must admit.
Flow: 9.2 - On the whole this was pretty good, but as I said, at times it became more prose than poetry. I would advise adding more line breaks in future.
Depth: 9.6 - Despite the depiction of 'simple things,' as you put it, you managed to create a deep, resonant poem.
Theme: 9 - Not especially creative, but at the same time you pulled off a very original piece from an interesting source.
Feelings: 9.7 - I was with you all the way in this piece.
Grammar: 8.5 - A couple of small glitches really broke up the flow for me. Sorry, but I'm very picky about grammar in poetry.
Presentation: 9.9 - I liked the way you presented this very much. The layout you chose gave each line a dreamy, contemplative feel.
Uncommonness: 9.2 - It's not an especially original theme, but you handled it masterfully and made it something I have never seen before.
Sit and ponder effect: 9.9 - A long shiver ran over my body as I finished this...quite rare for me. Well done.
Ability to follow rules: 10
UFM's score: 93
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Hullo and welcome to the POM,
In thought this was superbly written with fabulous images, not huge on impact but should score well in the other categories,
thanks for entering and good luck,
Floorboards. -
Like the title says..simple things, I like the
simplicity of this write. Its those everyday things
when written about brings a smile to the face...
good one!
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Good luck on POM. These are not easy contests. I have ried many times to enter them nd I only won a bronze trophy once.
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Thank you for the kind words of encouragement... yes, I'm a masochist
I keep trying... you'd think the wall would have a permanent imprint of my forehead by now 
Some day, I keep saying...
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Hello Ken
First thing I noticed, is how you are *time-stamping* your write here ~
Mentioning Starbucks and microwave will *date* your write, and not appeal to some Readers.....and the goal of any Poet, is to pen for ALL Readers ~
You have created a lovely write full of imagery and detail.....but my mind keeps going back to Starbucks......and to me, that is not the best way to grab the attention of all Readers ~
However, you did pen this entry with fullness and plenty of taste -
Great visuals to make me stop and ponder......lots of movement within your thoughts which is very good......and believe it or not, your lasting iopression will go with me as I go to the last entry.....so nice job there!
Thank you for coming out to support this POM.....good luck & God bless you,
Bear ~
Title 8.5....I would not click on this Title unless I wanted to read about this Topic/Genre -
Flow 9.35....not bad....some longer L's did tend to ramble.....but not bad -
Depth 9.5...I enjoyed the Storyline -
Theme 7.45...Nicely chosen..but not as Creative as I look for -
Feelings 8.15....I was engaged in your personification and subject ....but wanted more -
Grammar 8.5...I enjoyed your grammatical choices, but those two words...*starbucks & microwave* tend to make me think about only one thing......well, two
-Presentation 9.95...breaking up your S*'s in a 20 L allotment is nice....keep it up!-
Uncommonness 9.0...unique approach, but looking for something I have not heard of before -
Sit & Ponder Affect 6.75...I did not ponder, sorry Ken....looking for more Creativity -
Ability to follow Rules 10 -
Bears Score: 87.15
Break out that Creativity quill Ken.....the POY is right around the corner!
No editing once a Judge has touched your work ~
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Wow. this is beyond amazing. I really enjoyed reading this. the simplest in life brings memories. reflections in a cup of coffee. Starbucks now that's damn good coffee.. I love their coffee.. hmmm I can taste it..
good luck
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Aloha and Welcome to POM!!!
This is wonderful!!! At first I was unsure of
how you had broken the lines…but it reads
extremely well…IMHO…and I’m a coffee
nut…No Starbucks here ….seventy miles
closest one!!! My scores will be in the final
notes…thanks for a great entry…best wishes
in the contest! I would have preferred a different
title…using it only in the last line for impact…just
me
Write on.
REMEMBER: NO editing once a judge has
commented on your entry.
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I like this very much. Quietly elegant.
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How Glorious!
Talent is given, and not always received, hope is shared with the masses, but not found always.
The topic here is simple and so very well defined. Cherishing and thereby upholding the beliefs and innocence of both writer and reader.
Lesson received friend ... Lesson received ...
~ James ~
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Kind comments... Thank you for taking the time to read and comment... It is much appreciated...
Ken
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Wonderful flow and imagery with some excellent phrasing to boot. Really enjoyed this one. Hugs, Bunny
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Thanks Bunny.... for your time and your comments. I very much appreciate them both
Ken
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Oh my, and all that from an over-priced cup of joe...LOL. In all sincerity, this is a unique write...refreshing. Reminiscence...one needs to do this every once in a while. Wonderful poem!
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This is a wonderful reflective poem(no pun intended) that stirs memories with your thoughtful imagery. Well Done!
Write On!
Dennis
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Excellent
It is the very simplest things in life that most touch us.
I like the way you use a voice like a friend might.
"Happy days of youth when certainty was
found in a summer day on an old swing,
soaring like a bird,
watching clouds sculpt magical creatures,
and in laughter - just because…"
This was my favorite verse. I still do things "just because", figuring every move doesn't have to be earthshaking. Nice write, Poet.
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WE All have had our thoughts and dreams, and what a trip it was to live in reflections of our youth
nice poem !! good luck
VOE
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Oh My~
Now this is a Beauty of a piece penned my Friend and Love how You presented this~
Emotions pour from Your page and grab the reader
Gosh after reading I wanted to make a trip to Starbucks
Wow~ talk about influence through words
Bravo!!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Your enthusiam is contagious
Now I want to read it again Thank you for the kind words, the read, and your time...
l&l
Ken
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what a wonderful piece! It evokes feelings that I find hard to put into words. Simply lovely!
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Thank you for the kind words...
Ken
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Lovely wording and images! I really liked the soft feel to this - almost bittersweet, but not quite.
I did think a few of the lines were a little long, but realize with a line limit it's hard to cut sometimes and not lose the feeling of the write.
I've never had Starbucks - not much of a coffee drinker. I prefer tea..lol...
but I loved your theme and lovely images.
best wishes in the contest.
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Think of it as tea with muscle Yep, tough to keep it down to twenty lines... first draft was 38 LOL. Thank you for the read and lovely comments...
Ken
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yea starbucks!
ken, you should try the peppermint mocha twist. it comes with peppermint whipped cream. BEST THING EVER.
i just like to eat the whipped cream im such a healthy person.
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It's on my list... right after thanking you for the read and comment Thank you...
Ken
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Optimism, fragilely built on Starbucks and simple things…
I just woke up and to read something like this makes me smile just how you describe it Sir Ken with the watercolor days.
Anna Lee
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What a sweet comment Thank you for taking the time to read... Always appreciated... Hope your day is exquisite and filled with hues of love...
Ken
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