Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

four weeks later

And then there were candles
and my hand hovering, cooked
above them, trying hard
not to flicker in the heat.
They were fevered - trembling
even though the air was red.

I gripped the lattice and thought
the skin on my wrist might wrinkle
and shed into flames and fuel.
I burnt stickily all over

and far away you gasped,
slipped out of bed, raised
your heavy hands and saw
coiled rays of daylight
breaking on the broken bulb.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Death of the Author
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I read: "fevered - trembling even though the air was red" as "fevered, trembling - even the air was red". My mind does funny things sometimes.

    burnt stickily is so disgusting lol.

    and saw... - to the end is pure brilliance

    • evidently
      November 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      d'you prefer your imagined version, just out of interest? Just cause I always do that...I misread/hear things and then I'm really disappointed when I find out what the real one is ^^

      thank you

      • Death of the Author
        November 28, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I like both versions, though I know exactly what you mean about misreading things and being disappointed with the real thing. I couldn't have expressed that I don't think, so thanks for doing it for me