deficient breath of life
wrought and watchful to you-ward
comb through ego's inner landscape
press and prosecute
those secret places
where self-will aims its bow
piercing spiritual stamina
that falls foul of complete
where sum and substance
rests in limbo's nervous clutches
though the least of lesser sinners'
knows my name
in-part is more than plenty
when spill of tempered hues
are hedged about in ceaseless prayer
Author notes
Artist Credits:
Title: "Mujer Landina No. 4"
Media: Mixed media on paper
Artist: Manuel Neri
Date: 1995
Dimensions: 84" x 60.50"
http://lesliekaye.net/artworks.html
A contest entry
- The Beauty of Being Unfinished by Heart Sutra.
1100 points, ended November 30, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive critique please.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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whew, this touches every part od body soul and mind, yet not unfinished- completly so.
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Excellent.
I especially like the last stanza.
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Wonderfully done. Love ya, sis...
Write on and good luck.
Dez
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Your portrayal of this figure and the mood creates longing, an unfinished work void of completeness and it's intentions....Marvellous write!
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I agree with My Nemesis there is a sadness in this. Beautifully written!
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Maybe it is my mood, but this just seem so full of sadness, a kind of melancholy feel to it. There is a longing, a desire of what might have been - but like I said, it could be my mood reading all this in to it.
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Excellent Weaving Sis!
You have talent, and I enjoy when I get the chance to stop by and read your works. No matter what the topic, you express yourself through written word perfectly! Thanks for sharing, and all the best sweet sis!
Brother Timothy
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