I wait for my music box
this morning:
to simplicity like clean sheets
and open blinds
run fingers like daybreak
they sing hello
in a pleasing tune, of a windowsill;
and I look past
those handsome chaps
with elaborate chirps
to fall for
one brown-breasted fellow
with dirty wings.
he would fly
and rumble the still -
blinds drawn
cacophony silences
the wait.
~~~
Author notes
I might need a little bit of help editing this. I hope I got my tenses right this time. 
In a list
A contest entry
- morning songs by Nicolette.
1400 points, ended December 6, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
shine.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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stunning, I loved this one. Congratulations!
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Thank you!
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NOW i'm glad that i reminded you to enter this morning song contest, Cassie
this is lovely poetry and i agree with my co-judge about the delightful airy quality. wonderful visuals and great use of metaphor here. i was thinking of the music piece "musicbox dancer" while reading this poem - one of my favourite pieces of music!
i really liked the sounds here... you made me hear and see this poem - and i love that. thank you for a lovely, musical entry!
~ Nicolette
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Thank you so much!
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cacophony equals white noise, which i enjoy as much as any more commonplace musical piece.
i like the airy poetic feeling of this write
though, you must excuse my elaborate chirps. lol
i love that line
thanks for this sweet entry
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Thank you for your beautiful comment!
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This is wonderfully written. The imagery is top-notch and word choice is brilliant. I do believe I'll be bookmarking this one. Thanks for sharing and best of luck to you in the contest!
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Thank you for your comment.
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I love this! The imagery and the story. This line is brilliant:
"cacophony silences
the wait"
Love,
Amera♥
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thank you.
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PS: I NEED that background.
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This was awesome - the images - the metaphor - the emotion. And the theme even had a fantastic underlying message.
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Thanks a bunch, Ryan. Here's the background: http://s167.photobucket.com/albums/u159/rockerchkpoet/?action=view¤t=Birds.jpg
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thankyou
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"one brown-breasted fellow
with dirty wings.
he would fly
and rumble the still -
blinds drawn"
i love that...i can so see him, and hear this...
lovely...i like how they are the music box=)
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That's beautiful!!!!!
It makes me think of al l the wild life out here in the woods. Amazing. I'm printing this and posting it by my window.
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