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Skullcaps of Society

Palisades of human skulls,
floating sacrificial displays
impaled on posts,
creating screaming walls.

Wooden tzompanti alters
their final resting place,
head racks for losers
of war or games,
honors sought by some
as the most worthy sacrifice.

Cultures created cranium banners
flown in victory
like over-ripened fruit,
adorning branches of gourd trees.

Corpse-created churches,
surfaces lined with faces of death,
tourists stepping on streets
of cobble-stoned skulls,

sadly, victims never truly receive justice
in any society.






Author notes

POM entry
Theme: Ancient practice of cultures building walls, churches, towns out of skulls (and whole skeletons).

Some records indicate that not all were victims - some elite felt it was a worthy sacrifice and volunteered. ......Many tourists flock to see these 'works of art' - and some of them are astounding in their creations.
Makes one wonder at our visions of what we call art......

tzompanti: is the stucture, the type itself whether it be a wall of skulls or poles with skulls inpaled vertically.

I think this is unique..., lol - I haven't seen anything on this theme.....

(11-29-08 - thank you 'Cupcrazy' for your last-second help with this. I appreciate it!)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 46 of 46

  • penman gold member
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Such a great creation. So very well done. Congratulations on the silver.


    • aboomer silver member
      December 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'penman' - glad you enjoyed this somewhat 'gruesome' write...lol

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    December 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations


  • Skybow silver member
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your Silver win. A very unique theme and strong write.


    • aboomer silver member
      December 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'Skybow' - I'm glad you enjoyed, or at least found it interesting.


  • poppa
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful poem hun great imagery and liking your alliteration... good luck in the contest, though looks like you dont need it..


    • aboomer silver member
      December 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much Rob - glad you enjoyed this!
      We all need good luck - and I appreciate your wishes.
      best wishes to you also


  • BeautifulFlame
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hello and Welcome to POM!

    Hello hun,
    I must say i have learned more in the last 16 hours than i have learned in a few years.

    Your poem reflects a poetic taste of being in class with a great teacher!
    The theme was very creative!

    The flow was good even in a gruesome write.
    Well done.

    My scores will be up at finale judging.

    Best regards,
    ~Lisa~


    • aboomer silver member
      December 1, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'BeautifulFlame' for your lovely comment. I am pleased you enjoyed this.
      peace/blessings/joys to you


  • Floorboards
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hullo and welcome to the POM,

    I thought this was fantastic, the words and imagery were top notch, and although the ending never exactly blew me away, truer words could barely be written, loved it. You should score highly in all categories my friend, the quality in this contest for the most part has been excellent and this is in the top tier, no doubt,

    well done and good luck!

    Floorboards.


    • aboomer silver member
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'Floorboards' for your wonderful comment - I am very pleased you enjoyed this.


  • Arkbear gold member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    The ONLY thing I find to critique about this piece, is your last thought about Society........as you have created a Tone of Informative Speech after such a delicious write of Imagery, Visuals...movement and Creative Tone ~

     

    I do not believe the last thought will hinder your score.......too much, but when the contest is over, I suggest editing it just a weeeee bit to conclude with that Powerful Theme you have brought to me.....to us -

     

    I am loving this write....I shall remember it for a long time after I click the next entry......your Lasting Impression is the way to get my Attention......and you have done so here ~

     

    Incredible and Creative......this is how you win

     

    Good luck & God bless you,

     

     

    Bear ~

     

     

    Title   9.85...I did not love it, but it sure does work with your last L .....had me guessing for sure -

    Flow  9.85....not bad...some of your L's tend to run-on.....but just a hair -

    Depth   9.8..perfect, but gosh, I sure wanted to hear more -

    Theme 10...Nicely chosen.-

    Feelings   9.95....I was engaged in your personification and subject all throughout -

    Grammar   9.9...I enjoyed your grammatical choices...simply beautiful for such a write of darkening thoughts-

    Presentation 9.95...breaking up your S*'s in a 20 L allotment is nice....keep it up!-

    Uncommonness  10...unique! -

    Sit & Ponder Affect  9.95...I did ponder! -

    Ability to follow Rules  10 -

    Bears Score: 99.25

    Excellent penning Boom!

    No editing once a Judge has touched your work -


    • aboomer silver member
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much Bear for such a wonderful critique and score - I am beyond thrilled...
      I did have a prob. ending this - what with line restriction, and the fact I didn't want to go too 'gruesome'....I do want to change the ending on this - any suggestions? I'd appreciate them if you have some.....
      Again, thank you so much!


  • islekine
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    addendum...the more I read it the

    more I think you should ponder leaving out the last line...you expressed that in the poem...I think it may even have more impact...to some anyway...lol
    Best wishes in the contest!


    • aboomer silver member
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'islekine' - I agree - I myself wasn't sure how to end this with the line restriction - and not going too 'gruesome' for the last 2 lines.....I will need to think of how to re-do this ending......any suggestions?
      thanks


      • islekine
        December 1, 2008

        Edit | Reply

        I would just leave out

        "in any society" period....that's all it needs to be awesome...but.....I think you'll do just fine in the contest!
        lol.....this is REALLY GOOD!!
        Bravo!!!


        • aboomer silver member
          December 1, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Thank you 'islekine' - that's a good suggestion....after contest over, I'll ditch 'in any society'....lol


  • Sandygram silver member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing Write!!

    Wow! What a stark look at ancient practices. Dark but wonderful imagery. Enjoyed the author's notes. Thanks for the history lesson. Take care,

    Sandy


    • aboomer silver member
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'Sandygram' - glad you found this interesting. I always like to have some 'history' or 'learning' tossed into my writes that I try to do unique, as my other writes are more common and cliche....lol
      glad you enjoyed


  • islekine
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Aloha and Welcome to POM!!!

    So while I’ve been away…you have all turned into awesome
    writers??? I never should have left!!!
    This is truly grand…this is going to be a great POM…I can’t
    wait to see who gets the Gold!! Best wishes in the contest…
    my scores will reflect my impression…
    Write on!


    REMEMBER: NO editing once a judge has commented.


    • aboomer silver member
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol - thank you so much 'islekine' - glad you enjoyed this.
      You KNOW, that I have to find a UNIQUE theme!....lolol - it's like an 'obsession'
      thanks again


  • RyanosaurusWrecks
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hey there!
    quite a grit-jaw write!
    I am very impressed...
    well done


    • aboomer silver member
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'Ryan.....' for your wonderful comment. I am pleased you enjoyed this.


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love what you have done hun, it reads so well now and the list feel is gone, excellent imagery plus creativity. Great work and I wish you all the best, hugs, Bunny

    • aboomer silver member
      November 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you SO MUCH 'Cupcrazy' for all your help! I truly appreciate it!


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely piece hun, I enjoyed the imagery, it is very well done, it had a little of a list feel though and I wonder if eliminating connective words made it less poetic than it could have been. Just my opinion though and still a very lovely and creative work, hugs, Bunny


    • aboomer silver member
      November 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much 'Cupcrazy' for reading and your lovely comment. I am pleased you liked this - and didn't think I did too badly with it....
      I didn't feel it was coming across as a list - maybe because of the limited lines, too? I will have to double-check that and see if I want to keep this, or just delete and start over....lol....I'm good at that!


  • cutiepie gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You can always be counted on to amaze us with your quest for uniqueness...lol, macabre! Good luck my friend, and happy hunting


    • aboomer silver member
      November 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol - Thanks 'cutiepie' - glad you at least found this interesting....lol
      (I just did one on 'colored snow' for another contest...lol)
      yes, this theme is one of those fascinating/morbid types I guess
      best wishes to you also.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow and I thought I wrote dark! This is wicked! I have never seen the theme before and wow! What a theme! Beautifully penned and a great read, and again I learnt something new I didn't know some of this, tho I have seen pictures of some of this 'art' Sorry but you wouldn't get me volunteering for it! They must have had a screw loose Excellent poem, good luck


    • aboomer silver member
      November 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much LadyD - I am thrilled you found this 'wicked'...lol
      I don't think it's 'dark' ..- the theme maybe, but it's also just a part of their culture and things that seem to fascinate many today....
      Well, if you think it's dark - then maybe it will give you some 'inspiration' for your next writes....lolol
      again, thanks - I am honored by your comment.
      best wishes to you also


      • LadyDementia gold member
        November 30, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        Some of your wording is dark (impale, skull, corpse), created a dark air to it for me I love it!


        • aboomer silver member
          November 30, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          lol - yeah, I guess those are 'dark' words....hahahaha
          it seems like a dark theme, but yet these places are all over the world - unbelivable some of the 'art'/workmanship that went into them - awesome yet creepy!!....lol
          thanks again


  • azlyn gold member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are teaching me so much!!! I am awaiting your next interesting theme...I have seen a bit on this but I found your poem most intriguing! Best of luck in the contest!


    • aboomer silver member
      November 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Az - glad you enjoyed, and learned something at the same time...lolol...if you have never seen pictures of some of these places, Google them - some of the churches will make your jaw drop with amazement, at the same time giving you shivers because of the 'unusual' building materials.....


  • Patpowers
    November 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck again to you! I truly thought this was well written by a good poet as you. THANKS!


    • aboomer silver member
      November 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you 'Pat.....' - glad you enjoyed. It's hard coming up with 'unique' themes for this particular contest....lolol


  • Twins 4 me
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this piece. This is truely a unique theme. I also learned something. Good luck in the contest.


    • aboomer silver member
      November 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much 'Twins 4 me' for reading and your lovely comment. I am pleased you enjoyed this some-what odd write...lol....and that you learned something also. I was astounded when I saw some of these 'tzompanti' and the skilled workmanship that was put into them - fascinating, but creepy at the same time...lol...
      thanks again
      best wishes


  • troyias silver member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well written

    This is a rather uniqued write. I haven't seen anythin on this theme before.

    Well Done.

    *Go with God* my friend,

    Valerie


    • aboomer silver member
      November 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much 'troyias' - glad you enjoyed this, or at least found it interesting. I always try to do something that I have not seen before - sometimes I miss things, though....
      best wishes to you also!
      blessings

  • AngelKat42
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yes this is definitely something that I've not seen before.. interesting topic actually that I find quite fascinating.. though I do have a question about something. line 8 I don't think that you really need that comma after "wars" I think that is one too many.. that's the only thing that I could see that seemed a bit odd to me.. I think that you'll do just fine, I also think that you should enter these contests more often.. lol

    good luck
    kat


    p.s. I'm glad that you posted this too


    • aboomer silver member
      November 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you kat - glad you enjoyed.
      It does seem to hold a sick-kind of fascination for us, doesn't it. I was amazed at some of the churches and how skilled the workmanship was - at the same time, I shuddered with a feeling of a goose walking over my grave (maybe it was a tourist ....lol).
      Yes, I think you are right - I will delete that comma.....
      again, thanks.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well I think it is unique and a great write I am glad that you posted this good luck in the contest be well


    • aboomer silver member
      November 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Starz - glad you liked this.
      I hadn't planned on, or even thought of, entering....then I thought of this and felt it might be unique....lol....
      best wishes to you also!

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