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Before the Dawn



Many moons have graced the sky
while I lay dormant, hidden away
from eyes to inept to comprehend
they try to impede my work, so
I rest...wait a while...until...

Time comes to pluck once more
pathetic beings from this land
their noxious souls,
surplus to their needs

the dead need nothing
want nothing,
are suddenly passive.

 

Time is frugal...to them.

They expose themselves
willingly to me
false smiles worn on tight lips
until instinct takes over

sudden screams expel
faces contort with pain
shock hits in trembling waves,
skin Satanically peeled from bone
shreds cast to rats
who's tiny tusks nibble hungrily
noses twitch looking for more
as wide eyes watch,
bleeding fear.

Vertebrates snap
impacted, crushed
hopes of survival drain

 

death has its moments....

Lacerated screeches become rattles
foam bubbling, brimming over blue lips
eyes darken as the spark leaves
releasing the soul to me.

A hushed still pervades
dancing lightly dawn unfolds,
signaling the end of my pursuits
for now...

 

 

 

Author notes

Title - Before the Dawn
Word bank -
Pluck, Expose, Impede, Frugal, Passive, Dormant, Noxious, Expel, Surplus, Inept
1. 50 lines or less
2. DARK
3. deep

Hoping this is ok Just sort of wrote itself really.

A contest entry

I can see who calls cos I'm nosy, so be nice and comment.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22
  • wow this is truly truly deep and very dark and powerful I love the way that you wrote and portrayed this piece its truly well written and expressed you are a marvelous writer!!! I love it!!!!!


  • Pure Thought silver member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    UNderstandably gold. Well written darkness.
    Just came from Jaxs place... since I entered your contest thought I would check you out. Your poems ofcourse.

    Buddy


    • LadyDementia gold member
      September 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for stopping by, you must have taste if you read jax...she's my little lamp light in the darkness I look forward to reading your entry...hope its a dark one

  • Good

    It really captures as sort of morbid killer mentality...The whole no remorse kind of feeling... scary...I liked it.


  • Callisto Athena gold member
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    Arrrg, and the title seemed so benign! Was NOT expecting this.. The words and imagery are scary as hell! Excellent work!


  • snakeprincess742
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    oooooo spooky i like the whole undead thing , i lived in a garve yerd( long story) so it dusnt scare me nice right tho keep it up hun -huggles-


  • ApollosMuse
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    i honestly do not know why i decided to read you before going to bed...i guess i like being spooked??LOL!!as always..your work is awesome!!


  • PastelMoons gold member
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is wicked and compelling
    certainly worthy of a many more Gold shinys
    Congrats and keep penning
    your kind of brilliance!
    ~Pastel


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome
    My god you are back as the Queen of Darkness
    and I love it
    Well done on the gold hun
    A master at your craft
    Love Julie x


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Holy hell!! No wonder this is wearing Gold in the Darkwrite Challenge hunny!! OMG... it's very intense and wicked cool!! I'm scared of the Satanic peeling of skin lol

    Awesome write!


  • Methusala
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    congratulations on the gold! it takes quite a bit of endurance to make it through each round to the final one, but even more endurance to get gold. good job.


  • poppa
    November 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome write.. like to see you exploring free verse, your imagery is outstanding...


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa!!! Love this...

    So delightfully dark with wonderful imagery & visualisation within the narrative that made for a compelling read... And again, loving your freeverse...
    Well penned, well versed, well done!!!


  • Bosiarbooger gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    another great write from you I've read all and there are all great dark writes. Fitting for a final round best of luck to you though we are all winners for our poems this round, Boog


  • Riftkin gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh the way you used the word bank is outstanding.. for you did an outstanding job with this and there is nothing my words can say that will bring it justice.

    Riftkin


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well;



    What is there to say? I must admit that I am speechless from this. I believe you have taken your given prompts and created a masterpiece of your own here. Nothing that I can say can do justice to what you have written here.

    Thank you for taking part in my challenge and for the pleasure to read your entries. I wish you the best of luck in this final round.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**


  • WolfHeart
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wakes one up

    This is a great poem of such evil that it winds itself off the skein and into your brain. You are the Queen of Dementia, no one even comes close. I really like this gore fest. Good work, Poet.


  • aboomer silver member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love your bg, coloring and borders on this!!

    wow - for a word bank this is outstanding!! So vivid in details, so 'wow' in images and impact!!!
    I could never pick a favorite line, as I liked all of this!!
    You pack so many chilling, bone-filled images into your writes - excellent job, as usual!!

    best wishes in your contest.

    • LadyDementia gold member
      November 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Feel free to snag the BG if you like it hunni I made quite a few like this for myself a while ago, thought they would go with anything Then of course I made 100's more and forgot about them


  • Asylum Princess
    November 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck in the contest...your use of words is brilliant!


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i bow you once more and thank you for sharing you words with us, amazing poem, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest

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