"The man of my dreams" is a common phrase
But baby you really are the sun's rays
I want you to love and commit to me
But you have to take that step, turn the key
I want you to know, every time I see your smile
I know that waiting for you is worth while
I love how you really know me inside
I love how you walk with that sexy stride
We talk for hours without running out of things to say
And dream about the lighthouse on the bay
We make each other laugh til our ribs hurt
Get so excited that we lose more than a shirt
You make me feel like I'm the only one around
You make me melt without even making a sound
You have this sparkling magic in your eyes
That always gives me the butterflies
You're my best friend, my lover, my everything
There is nothing in this world that your love cant bring
My love for you is hard to describe
I always get so choked up inside
But I want to look into your eyes and kiss your lips
and show you my love through my fingertips
To come home to you every night
And make sure your treated right
I wanna be that blanket that keeps you warm
I wanna protect you from any storm
I wanna be the one holding your hand
As you lift my vail while standing in the sand
So tell me I'm your one and only
And that I'll never have to be lonely
Tell me one day we'll be together
And hold each other tight forever
Author notes
For a certain someone..you know who you are
Suggestions are welcome!
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Beautiful
What a very romantic and passion write. So full of love and powerfully expressed. Thank you for sharing. -
At a Loss for Words!
Wow this is the sweetest thing I have read from you Mindie! If I didnt know better i would say your heart took the pen from you and wrote this directly as I have never read anything so straight from the heart of someone so special as you! I have read other comments about flow and what not and as you know I am not a writer but to me as a reader what you have to say is so much more important than trying the find a special word for better flow (no offense to anyone who commented on that) In my opinion if a stranger can tell you wrote this directly from the heart than you have done your job in writing a true gem!! And i am willing to bet that anyone who reads this that doesnt know you will know how much love you have in your heart!! I know and believe me I treasure your heart, your mind, your love and I know how special a person you are! You have told me that sometimes in the past people in your life havent realized this but I know that even though we have never laid eyes on one another outside of the "E" world, I know you are one of a kind and they dont make them better than you Mindie! Big <3's and *hugs*!!! Smile 4 me!
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I will shout it from the moutain tops!
I love you mark...and i hope someday we can really be something
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Truely beautiful.. The flow is so perfect that even though I'm a hesitent reader I can read it without one stop. This poem comes straight from the heart and its put into beautiful words. I admire your writting.
Peace & Love
<3
-Toots
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Nice poem. Like the line structure you have with breaking the words up. Try not using "that" so much to make this flow more smoothly.
Great love poem
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Purity, Love in innocence
Thank you for reminding me of what some of us are blessed to find and few of us are able to hold on to.
Your imagery was spot on. Excellent read for me. I will continue to look for your work.
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nicely expressed . . liked "But baby you are really the sun's rays" and "My love for you is hard to describe" . . don't forget to check your spelling and punctuation such as worthwhile and can't . .
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A lot of strong emotions, still I feel the flow needs some work.
Keep uo the good work. Rose
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Wow... That was really deep. I love the part where you say" I want to be that blanket that keeps you warm" That part really grabbed me. All together I would have to say this is the best one of yours that I have read! Great job, keep up the good work! Evie (from the group A New Beginning
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OMG OMG OMG this made me think of my baby an how much i love him and there are parts of the poem that embodies our entire relationship. I def wanna bookmark this. I love it love it love it!!!!! Its soooo beautiful and it hits home. SOOO freakin beautiful. Awesome write!
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This is a beautiful poem expressing alot of beautiful sentiments. There's a longing here, one that shows extreme faith and patients, it's somewhat inspiring. Like two people who when they come together are now complete and whole. Perfection of hearts, beautifully written
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Nice use of slant rhyme. There is a certain innocence here, a clarity of desire and a purity of love that transforms the words and thoughts into a bounty of blessings laid at your loves heart door. Stunning. Really.
Love, Tom B.
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beautiful
what a beautiful piece. the flow is beautiful, the words are beautiful, the idea is beautiful. that certain someone is definitely a lucky someone. beautifully romantic!
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wonderful!
amazing write, oh please wirte more your words draw in so muich
- chelsey
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Many things to say
There many aspects to writing poems that one could comment on. I love the story because it's all from the heart but as swan song mentions, this seems "uneven" and by that I mean how it flows or perhaps doesn't. The point is, that what you write and who you write for is the most important thing. It doesn't have to be professional but if you want it to be that way, you need to work on it and read lots because that is the way to learn. Read all sorts of styles and subjects so that you get a better understanding of how many ways you can say the same thing, but with more punch or indeed with more impact.
The best part of your work is that you share it, that's nice of you.
TC
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Thanks so much for your comment!
Its comments like yours that show u really took the time to read this.
I agree with you on everything! I guess words from the heart are hard to make a flow to lol. Thanks for taking the time for my words!
Mindie
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Really lovely poem
"So tell me I'm your one and only
And that I'll never have to be lonely
Tell me one day we'll be together
And hold each other tight forever."
Emotionally powerful and sweet without being overly dramatic, something that is hard to pull off when it comes to love poems like this. Great job.
~ Ink
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Your rhyme is delicious here, improving all the time some lovely flow and such passionate content.
I hope so much that he will make you this happy, it sounds wonderful and your closing stanza is what we all need !!!
Great stuff.
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Excellent
Oh my you sure poured out the love in your verses. This is so sweet and caring. Such a beautiful read. Thank you so much for sharing.
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love assured!
Tell me one day we'll be together
And hold each other tight forever"Ready consent for such a deep love!
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Such strong emotions, this person is very lucky to have someone that feels such strong love as you do. I love it. Wonderful poem. I hope that this person gets the message. God Bless. Excellent poem.
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Love is a strong emotion and the sentiments of it can sometimes be hard to express for some people, but it expressed very well here, very naturally and not forced or constricted.
Good write.
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Beautiful sentiment...sweetly spoken and written. The verse has a lovely flow. Very nice.
Az
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Lovely.
My fav lines...
I want to look into your eyes and kiss your lips
and show you my love through my fingertips
To come home to u every night
And make sure your treated right
I wanna be that blanket that keeps you warm
I wanna protect you from any storm
I wanna be the one holding your hand
As you lift my vail while standing in the sand
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This is lovely, darlin'... I hope this guy realizes how lucky he is to have someone who loves him this much.
This line:
"You have this sparkling magic in your eyes
That always gives me the butterflies."
is my favourite; great use of detail and devices.
My only suggestion: Write out the full words instead of using "txt tlk"; it's a bit more romantic
Well done, sweetheart ♥
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Thanks!
For taking the time to read this and comment. Grammar corrections are always welcome. I do not have an "o" key on my keyboard so i have to use this "On screen keyboard" in my start menu and click on the "o" so sometimes i forget and just use words with out it haha.
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The rhyme sheme in this poem is very strong
there is an intensity in the emotion of this poem.
on the down side I feel the poem could use some going over still, For one the lines are uneven and that throws the meter off.
in one line you use u intead of you sometimes you can get away with it but I always recomend safety
The poem has all the natural tools and flow
it just needs a bit more reading out loud and touching up
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Great Job
Mindie this is stunning piece of Works and like i have said before the man who you wrote it for is a fool if he doesnt realize that you are wonderful...Me -
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He does..
I'm wonderful to him in his eyes. We just have a lot of distance between us. All i can say is i hope that him and i will be together someday in the near future!
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