Don't you see
what you are doing to me
is ruining all we are
all we wanted to be?
Can't you hear
the pain in my tears
the breaking of my heart
the shortening our years.
Can't you feel
I'm pulling away from your touch
my hand trembling in fear
but needing it so much.
Don't you know
I love only you
but I need to know
that you love me too.
In a list
A contest entry
- Pissed Love by Hateful Apathy.
2200 points, ended December 14, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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(I'm Sarah by the way)
The rhyming was a nice touch, especially in the second stanza. That was definently my favorite
And in the third stanza, trembling in fear but needing it so much. It was sad, the way it showed the contradiction between wanting your love to stay, but desperatley longing to leave.
This was great.
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a kind of urgency sorrow but a needing love is what i feel from this poem, a need to know that you heart is not alone, and that is what hits me in this poem, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Hmm, it appears being up late is a good way to read people's poems while they are still fresh. I actually liked it. But, I cannot really depict how. Just can't. Wait for Sarah, she probably will say exactly what I am thinking.
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C
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