Sighing into my pillow,
A new day begun,
I can guess how it will end…
Like every other one.
Drag myself through the motions,
Never really breathing.
My parents argue with me openly,
And I try not to show I’m seething.
Anger is my pain, and pain is my anger,
I never get any relief.
They ask me if I’m O.K,
I lie through my teeth.
It hurts when they don’t see me,
It hurts when they don’t like what they see,
It hurts that nobody,
Even tries to find me.
I want to make everyone happy,
But I can’t be everything for everyone.
It tears me apart all through the day,
Until the day is done.
A little comment, an argument, a fact,
And I am consumed by my self-hate.
Sure, I argue back in self-defense,
But it’s only a false need to participate.
I want to be so much more than I am,
And I curse myself for not being enough.
I always wanted to save someone else’s life.
To be their savior in the rough.
But I’m not enough, I’m really not,
And I lick the tears from my lips.
I suck down my self-disgrace,
In unsteady, uneven sips.
I never slit my own wrists,
My scars are on my heart.
Sometimes I can feel it breaking,
And I think I’ll fall apart.
When I hate myself deeply,
I slap my face and claw at my skin.
I try to refrain from pulling out my hair,
Because I know it will happen again.
I hate it, I despise it,
The way I stumble and fall.
And also the way no one even looks up,
Or seems to notice me trying at all.
A contest entry
- Im Here If You Need Someone That Cares by storiesuntold.
925 points, ended November 28, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you honestly think about it?
Comments
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Oh honey
You know I hear you and know where you are coming from and often its not argueing with them when you reply its you showing them what you believe your own opinion and being you bothe feel right is what causes the arguments .But honey cant you see you are both right in your own beliefes but another doesnt have to agree . When you feel an argument coming settle back and think it over and say If it sounds like I am arguing Im not its just what I feel and dont I have a right to feel what is inside of me as you do . This poem you have written this evening did you know that if you left this out for your mom to read it would hit dead center of their hearts and they would realize whats happening . I use to do this at home and my frustration written out on a paper and just left it on my bed like I forgot it . I knew right where I had left it and if it had been moved when I gotr home I knew she had read it . It was weird it seemed to answer so many questions for them and in turn things began to change for they truly knew my heart feelings . You might try this with this poem and see often they are blind to whats going on they feel you are just trying to argue with them where its not so bring your hopes to the light and let it out in the open honey if you cant talk face to face then leave a note for them to see .I so hope things get better i your home and Im here anytime you want to talk . For often having someone who truly listens can make all the difference in the world
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