your lungs burn into ashes
your airway soon crashes
your lips seal tight
as your nose tries to fight
just before you choke
your eyes start to soak
as your soul scream out
that this was your final bout
as your body appears dead
and you watch from ahead
that if only you had your breath
this reality would be no death
Author notes
it can happen so easy
A contest entry
- ohh jeezz by written-in-ink.
550 points, ended December 10, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Wow, I really like this
How death takes someone
How breath is so vital to life
Beautiful -
I love how you used the prompt here, to mean lliterally taking someones breath away. Very clever!
This is a very powerful piece, it really sucked me in.
As you say in your AN, it really can happen so easily, and this serves as a reminder to enjoy every moment we are given.
Nice write, good luck in the contest.
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wow!
Amazing poem, extremly well written and the Rhym flows well.
Well done and good luck in the contest!
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