Once sin ruled
In the darkness of my spirit world,
Taking its enemies
And inflicting many injuries;
But a light came down a tunnel
Like liquid through a funnel;
A hand reached out,
My soul gave a shout;
I was stumbling
But the sin was crumbling
I reached for the hand
Which grabbed and gave the command,
"Repent your sin,
And let Me in"
I ran with all my might
The sin not giving up without a fight;
But I let the Lord in
And He erased my sin.
Author notes
this is my second piece entered on this site with this profile
♥ Kathraina
In a list
A contest entry
- Peer Pressure Contest!! You decide the trophy winners!! by Zenda-Lokki.
1700 points, ended January 7, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - all the prewrites you want (theres a catch) by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended January 7, 299 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrites only contest by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 5, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Light in our darkness by Never Known.
400 points, ended February 21, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Thank you!
In god you trust... I love this poem... Thanks for the entry! -
Ooh, that bolded font makes it much clearer. Thanks!
There's one more thing I noticed tho, and that was this:
I was stumbling
but the sin was crumbling
There are only two instances in which the first word of the line isn't capitalized. This is one, and the other is within the quote. The quote makes sense mechanically, but perhaps this one is an anomaly? -
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hmm...your right, didn't catch that at ALL!!! Donka mucho!
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Just wondering, why'd you write the title like that?
Also, why the indents?
The font/bg combo is a little hard to read...
From darkness to light, death to hope and rebirth...
What a beautiful testimony of renewal! I don't know the details, but just seeing this shift is thrilling.
But a light cam down a tunnel
Like liquid through a funnel;
First, spelling error "came" please.
That's an interesting simile you chose there. It's a nice multisyllable rhyme, but I don't feel the imagery adds to the power of the poem.
I like how the poem swells and climaxes and then keeps glowing until the end. -
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Well, I don't like standard titles all the time. I like to be creative. I love the way I put it. The indents idk why I did them. But yes, big shift in my life. Thank You! *ima change the "cam" to "came" right now. thanx for pointing that out!*
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well, I guess the indents look nice, although they don't have a real purpose
^.~
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W00T! Again, this is awesome!
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I will be very surprised if you don't win a trophy in this contest xx
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welcome to allpoetry
You have written a wonderful account of how turning your life over to God can make all the difference. Great rhyme and flow.
♥
Shawna
Site Greeter
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You have an amazing talent for someone of your age hun x Cant wait to see more from you xx The background is good too x
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