Storm of Passion
In the beam
moonlight in hell.
Swimming warmth in turbulent webs
from this incautious grotto;
encircled crags
revise my dreams.
I stagger in sorrows repudiation
floating through pulsating rubble
as our insightful damned soar
over a swollen crescent
and sickly sweet dishonor
is pleading for living being;
portal to portal.
This sorrow
in the center of my heart.
A contest entry
- the crescent of maternal moon by Pamela A Lamppa.
1050 points, ended December 1, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended December 15, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 'Cause this is life by mickey94.
900 points, ended December 16, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Stick Your Needle In My Heart by fairytalelovestory.
550 points, ended December 31, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mixed Emotions by hotchocolate.
700 points, ended February 9, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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A very well written piece here that I enjoyed reading! Thank you for your entry and good luck
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very nice, i like the picture it paints in the readers mind
good luck
-micaela -
Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. Awesome analogies. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, very well done. -
Not at all what I expected in this contest and quite shocking. This is heavy, hard, and verges on cruel. It is meant to. And then there is such remorse hidden within the anger. Such remorse.
Your stunners are:
"Swimming warmth in turbulent webs
from this incautious grotto;"
and
"our insightful damned soar
over a swollen crescent
and sickly sweet dishonor"
The emotion conveyed is immeasurable. Very good writing in this piece and strong voice to the prompt. Thank you for this entry. ~Pamela
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Beatifull!!!
Hi how are you?Wow Wow,I enjoyed reading this one so much,your words are so honest and true!!!
~Sweet_CHANTING~
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Excellent
A fine write, as is, I think. You seem to have expressed yourself very well.
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OhMan.
You portray feeling ridiculously well.
I love all of it.
I'd give you clappies but it won't let me!! -
Feeling its way along the same lines I just submitted, You seem to breathe darkness inbetween stilled rays. Best to you, Blue
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Wow, this is a switch for you, in tone, at least from your other pieces I have read. Very poignant & subtle. The incautious grotto reminds me of the cave of swimmers in Egypt. Nicely done.
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This is turbulent and disturbing - not a comfortable read for me, but challenging and quite harsh. Very effectively written.
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