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Poor Jack

I am Jack's heartache,
his love, and his distress.
Forcing the pounding heart
to beat louder, quicker.
Pushing him into thorns
and into salty streams.

I am Jack's will,
conscience, and soul.
Not strong enough to resist himself
... and others.
Beating him into deals,
and decisions made wrong.

And Jack doesn't even know me
because he doesn't know himself.
Mundane activities become a challenge
because I am the weight on his world.
Controlling his thoughts is a raging war
And I'm in the middle
like a god who favors Satan.
Ripping Jack to shreds
as if this poem were my voodoo
and the war ends with his life.

A contest entry

You like...yes?

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Comments


  • suzume
    December 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    -like the full separation from "jack" voice
    -second stanza, last two lines were good
    - favourite was "mundane activities become a challenge" - so relatable.

    Thanks for entering.


  • Fourthaxis
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww... this was just awesome...very melancholy....Jack sure sounds like a fragile fool..."Poor Jack" indeed!

    "I am Jack's will,
    conscience, and soul.
    Not strong enough to resist himself
    ... and others."
    This sounded damn lonely...pensive is good!

    "And Jack doesn't even know me
    because he doesn't know himself."
    Nice, real nice! Emphasizes your point quite well!

    "Ripping Jack to shreds
    as if this poem were my voodoo
    and the war ends with his life."
    What can I say, this is fantastic!
    You go girl! Pen on!
    peace.