Won't you read me a story
my darling,
won't you soothe me to sleep?
Won't you hold me close
and kiss my cheek?
What's happening to us?
What's different?
Has work got between us?
It has... hasn't it.
You're driving me crazy sweetie
one worded messages
-- worded messages that say about her.
.. the one that was before me to begin with ..
I just want it to go back to normal
Please.
Please.
For me.
I love you,
... if you even still love me.
Won't you read me a story
my darling,
won't you soothe me to sleep?
Won't you hold me close
and kiss my cheek?
Author notes
Pro timing for a contest...
was looking one to write something like this down ...
In a list
A contest entry
- Pissed Love by Hateful Apathy.
2200 points, ended December 14, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
^^ Didn't like it? The back button is up there ^^
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
this confused me...
"Won't you read me a story
my darling,
won't you soothe me to sleep?
Won't you hold me close
and kiss my cheek?"
sounds lyk your talking to a parent or family member to me -
Awww...
C'mon, rest your head on my shoulder
you can cry on it all night long
All that I'm gonna do is hold ya
untill you're feeling strong
-
-
Thank you
-
-
Hey, Sis.
You paint a picture of precious love in your words here... sometimes we want to go back to "normal" but depending on situations, it just won't happen -- unfortunately.
But sometimes love can, and will recover. I'll be praying for you
Love,
Zach -
-
thank you my darling Zachy for your kind words
-
-
aww. omgosh, this is really touching. a very heart-felt and sad write. but i liked it, the emotions were raw. keep penning a beautiful piece as always
-
-
Thank you
-
-
that's sad...and beautiful...and wow.
Aw, Claire, I'm at a loss of words....
-
-
Wow, you; loss of words?
Never
Joking
-
-
this is a great piece claire, so sad and it coulda been all clichey angsty like, but it sounds so painful and poignant. and desperate. god thats sad.
is this based on reality?
youre writings getting better and better. xx
-
-
Hmmm maybe
Well... it was last night anyway.
All better now ^^
-
-
AWWWW!
this is so sweet! and so sad. i love how this poem has so much of a human voice. it's structured to an extent, but i can still practically hear someone saying every single line aloud, with heartbreaking emotion, which is definitely a nice breath of fresh air -
-
Thank you very much for your comment
-
-
One worded messages that say about her. That's brilliant, and I love how you put it in this. And the repetition of the first stanza at the end. I loved that. Perfect poem for the moment I think.
-
-
Oh, I didn't even realise I'd written it like that!!
But hey, that works
Thank you for the comment
-
-
Nice..
I wonder love is tough or stubborn hope is bitter?
Really nice piece... loved the way it starts and ends... emotions straight from heart what else one could ask for
-
-
Thank you for the comment
-
-
this is a really sad babe , i hope you work this out with him
on the plus side you did a amazung peaice of writing an dthe background is wonderful
love you -
-
Thank you
Love you too
-
-
Actually I quite liked it from the start. Hmm, weird trend I am noticing though, all these people putting down references to people "their person" has known before them. Hmm, wonder how long it will continue.
-
-
It seems to be the phase at the moment, the one before we come along *sighs*
thank you for your comment
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
