You reach out,
You touch skin,
you don’t stop.
You push deeper,
through blood,
into bone-
Until my pounding heart sits
Eye level on your ring finger.
You, examine it curiously.
I, hold my breath.
Your voice robed in
Everything I’ve ever wished for,
Your eyes laden with
Everything I’ll never have-
you ask for it
With such audacity-
No...compassion,
No, audacity.
I am slighted,
I am touched.
You ask for it,
and I give it to you.
Its’ rhythm amuses you,
For a few moments,
It entertains you,
But for only a few.
Having had enough,
You drop it-
Beating,
Convulsing,
Almost speaking-
Into the palm of your hand,
And shove it into your
Back pocket.
They say hate is a strong word,
I say it's perfect because
I couldn't possibly
hate you more.
A contest entry
- Pissed Love by Hateful Apathy.
2200 points, ended December 14, 2008, 30 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I love it...especially the part about shoving it into his back pocket...that line really drove the poem home for me. Why do people always say that hate is such a strong word...of course it is, but that is why we use it! Two of my favorite quotes on the subject:
"Love blinds us to faults, but hatred blinds us to virtues."--Iba Ezra
"Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life."--Eric Hoffer
I have let go of most of my hatred, and I feel lighter and more complete without it. I dont write much anymore, havent written a poem in years...but I enjoyed this one very much...thanks!
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Reach out
Fantastic write. Where did you learn to write such astounding poetry? Reall took my breath away with the flow of the words.
Yorkshire Bard
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thanks (:
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This IS excellent, your metaphor is perfect and hearbreakingly true. I especially enjoyed the contrasting lines, "I am slighted - I am touched" as they describe the mix of emotions that frustrate and anger you. This deserves solid Gold, but be careful, doubt I can match it but my own muse is roiling...we'll see
Best wishes.
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Oh my...you certainly sing with all the painful inflection of feeling injured...indeed what is worse when it was for his entertainment...a game...an escape/escapade at your expense...there are sadly too many that will relate to this player's cavalier toying with your heart...it's better to try and heal than hang on to that four-letter-word-hate...hope your heart heals harmoniously and is free from his duplicity...
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Thank you so much for your kind words.
As for the limit- I just started actively using AP a few days ago and am still getting the hang of it- I didn't see the limit until after I'd entered! But I will definitely be more careful next time. Thank you for leaving my poem in the contest
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Oh my god I loved this. All of it together, at once, kind of took my breath away. I could almost see a scene like this playing out in my mind. I loved the words you used, and how they gave this so much feeling. And the hate part...that really got me. Damn amazing, that's what this one was.
And I'm with Pat on the limit keeping part.
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Oh well now I don't think this person would be left in any doubt at all after reading these words. Nice job.
C
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Won me over
Um...nice limit keeping. *cough*
But seriously, I liked it. Hmm, the ending did seem to strike me as, entreating, to say the least. Keep it up on works like that. You'll be sure to have strong fans with that type of writing, I know you won me over.
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