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Infantryman

My skin is weathered,
scarred from multiple

trials by fire.


While not of great stature,
I have withstood

immensely brutal attacks.

Upon my heart
are words scribed by sages,
testaments of courage,
strength, faith and love.

Along side a mighty warrior
I've fought many battles;
his words, like the sages',
have left deep impressions

upon my soul.

Time has come for me now

to take my place serving
along side another great warrior:

 

my friend's great-grandson.

This shall be my honor.


Author notes

*POM Contest*
Theme: From the view of a Bible, being passed from great-grandfather to great-grandson.

The Bible is small, tattered; pages are loose, scribbled upon with notes. There is even a paperclip in Psalms marking a section of passages, along with other place markers and underlined verses. My wife's grandfather passed a year ago and this Bible was his ~ it is being passed to Lisa's son, Nick, who is heading to his first duty station as a US Army Infantryman. Lisa's grandfather was a preacher, and also served in the military.

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • Dobar Dan
    April 7

    Edit | Reply

    Okay

    Great write - I am anti-war without reason - such as the stupid G.W. Bush attack on Iraq - you wrote from the heart - easy reading - I don't know if you are glorifying military or not - keep on keeping on - Bless God America - Joe -------------------- Peace


    • Xianaria gold member
      April 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading ~
      I am not anti-military, being former Army myself, but this was more about a great-grandfather's Bible a being passed down 3 generations to a young soldier in the Army (his great-grandfather was a marine in WWII). The "Infantryman" in the subject here is the Bible, being along side the young man just entering the military.

      God bless ~
      Tim


  • redbarchettadrive gold member
    March 10
    Edit | Reply
    How awesome is that? My son is in the ARMY too! He is at Ft. Campbell, KY. Fantastic writing here!


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    THIS IS A REALLY CREATIVE AND ORIGONAL PIECE, I LOVE THE THIRD VERSE, ESPECIALLY AFTER READING THE AUTHOR NOTE, FOR I RESCUED SUCH A WARRIOR BIBLE FROM A JUNK SHOP LAST YEAR, IT IS NOW A MUCH LOVED FAMILY MEMBER
    THIS IS EXCELLENT
    THANKS


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Tim, and welcome back

    This is amazing, and after reading the notes in your ANs, I felt it that much more when I read it again. Tradition can be an awesome thing, and you've certainly carried on in your tradition of excellence

    My scores will be revealed upon judging

    Good luck!

    Laura


  • BeautifulFlame
    December 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hello and Welcome to POM!

    Hello,
    First off i must say i feel as if i am walking the green mile...lol

    Okay this write was most pleasant to read. I found it to be touching yet powerful.

    I have not seen this theme before but i will take bears word for it. Your approach was outstanding and well done. Very creative!

    Your poetic voice always rings true to thy own self.
    Keep up the great work!

    Best regards,
    ~Lisa~


  • Floorboards
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hullo and welcome to the POM,

    mmm, not sure about this, felt it needed more. It's very well written and I can feel your emotion, but I'M not feeling it i'm afraid, maybe it's just not my cup of tea, (obviously not your fault and i'll not let that affect my score). On the whole very solid write,

    thanks for entering and good luck,

    Floorboards.


  • islekine gold member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Aloha and Welcome to the other side...

    What can I say? Beautifully done…
    I have my great grandfather’s bible…
    it starts with him and his family and
    has come down all these generations
    to my grand daughter….we have the family
    tree in the middle…faded tattered and worn
    my only suggestion is leave out the “now” I
    don’t think it’s needed…
    Thanks for a wonderful entry!! Best yet…
    Best wishes in the contest…
    Write on and on!


    REMEMBER; NO editing once a judge has commented on your work!


  • Arkbear gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hello Timmy

     

    I only have a MINOR suggestions, as this write stands brave and strong by itself ~

     

    Your very last L needs a comma after *This*.....slooow me down.....keep that Tone flowing, yet allow it to slow down when your thoughts are trying to leave that Lasting Impression

     

    The journey of feelings and visuals kept me reading....I actually wanted more, but 20 L's are Max.....good job ~

     

    Much better than last weeks entry....I adore your talent and precise handling of your chosen words.....you have created a piece which should be in Spotlight.....nothing more here to critique.......however,

     

    ..... to me.....the Power of this Theme is lacking......but only a weeee bit.....this Theme is meant to be one which grabs and makes a clear-cut impression.......I believe a Met or two at most would have made me ponder more -

     

    ....and pondering is always a good thing.....good luck & God bless you....lovely job

     

    Bear ~

     

    Title   7.8...I liked it, but only after I read your work....otherwise, I would not click on this Title, unless, I wanted to read about this Genre -

    Flow  9.9....just slow me down a tad more....I hate being rushed -

    Depth   9.9..enough depth to grab me and not let me go ....very nice -

    Theme 9.85...Nicely chosen.....but your penning is/was better -

    Feelings   9.25....I was engaged in your personification and subject, but lacking a *sigh* here & there -

    Grammar   9.3....pretty straight-forward....looking for a few Mets to hold me in thought -

    Presentation 9.55....bold font reminds me of loudness....this Theme is not loud, yet tender -

    Uncommonness  9.65...I have heard similiar....but....unique approach! -

    Sit & Ponder Affect  9.75...I did ponder....had to read it a few times to really grasp all of your thoughts -

    Ability to follow Rules  10 -

    Bears Score:  94.95

    Best score from me in this POM......so far -

    No editing once a Judge has touched your work -


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have penned an excellent tale here, nice to know how things are treasured and passed on over the years. Good luck in the contest


  • aboomer silver member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    We, too, have those bibles that were passed on. My father was a minister, and when he passed away last year, I gave most of his bibles to a Church to send over to missionary countries - I liked the thought of what he held so dear, being treasured by those who have so little.

    Nicely done, as always!
    best wishes in the contest.


  • chilali
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the font!!! And this is a great write!! Wow! Best to you in the contest


  • Soft-Rain gold member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! I usually don't comment your poems till judging is over but i must say this was outstanding!
    This wasn't a personal write as most are thinking and i do appreciate each one giving our son blessings.
    This was a story told by a worn small bible,we know not what all this bible went through or the life it held up through many years, handwritten note and paper clips lead me to ponder just what that bible's story would tell and now going on to another.
    This was deeply written, i never dreamed you would come up with this theme!
    Truly lovely,
    ~Lisa~

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is nice something that is passed on treasured for the next in line is always a beautiful gift to leave thanks for sharing be well.


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job with this one. The story is very well told. My own son will be signing a contract with the Army in the next few weeks. I wish Nick the very best.

    Mike


  • poppa
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write my friend.. shows your heart.. my blessings go with him too...

    Peace
    Rob.

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