Delusions

A burn here, a tear there.
A scratch here, a scar there.
A shout in this house.
A curse in my mind.
A curse on my heart
and all of its foolish delusions.

A curse on my smile
that mirrors your own.
A laugh here, a cough there.
'Take care of yourself, Daddy.
I miss you.' And I do.
Too much for words.

A bright blue eye here,
a soft gray eye there.
'Please come home.'
'There's no place for me.
Not anymore.' And there isn't.
Curse my lost innocence.

I lose everything that
is the slightest bit
important to me.
It's my own fault.
A ring here, a friend there.
It makes no difference.

They all disappear.
A trace here, and none there.
A soft touch on my face
that might be a butterfly wing.
Or maybe the result of that curse
on my heart and all of its delusions.

'I miss you, Daddy. I love you.'
And I do.
Far more than anything else.
One more thing to disappear.
Like my heart
and all of its delusions.

Gone without a trace.